Unfortunate Coincidence

By the time you swear you're his,
Shivering and sighing,
And he vows his passion is
Infinite, undying -
Lady, make a note of this:
One of you is lying.

#DorothyParker #Parker

On hearing that President Calvin Coolidge had died:
"How could they tell?"

#DorothyParker #Parker

The Small Hours

No more my little song comes back;
And now of nights I lay
My head on down, to watch the black
And wait the unfailing gray.
Oh, sad are winter nights, and slow;
And sad's a song that's dumb;
And sad it is to lie and know
Another dawn will come.

#DorothyParker #Parker

#Limerick #fun #humor #DorothyParker #Algonquin #RoundTable #Onan #Genesis #parrot www.youtube.com/channel/UCnf...

Did you ever realise there are just no dogs in Philadelphia? Oh, what an ugly place.

#DorothyParker #Parker

Resume

Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.

#DorothyParker #Parker

Of the slow pace of work in Hollywood;
"Unless someone comes near my office, I'm going to write MEN on the door."

#DorothyParker #Parker

On hearing that President Calvin Coolidge had died:
"How could they tell?"

#DorothyParker #Parker

Oh, I said it all right. You know how it is. A joke. When people expect you to say things, you say things. Isn't that the way it is?

#DorothyParker #Parker

Rhyme Against Living

If wild my breast and sore my pride,
I bask in dreams of suicide;
If cool my heart and high my head,
I think, "How lucky are the dead!"

#DorothyParker #Parker

Time doth flit,
Oh shit!

#DorothyParker #Parker

Oh, I said it all right. You know how it is. A joke. When people expect you to say things, you say things. Isn't that the way it is?

#DorothyParker #Parker

Unfortunate Coincidence

By the time you swear you're his,
Shivering and sighing,
And he vows his passion is
Infinite, undying -
Lady, make a note of this:
One of you is lying.

#DorothyParker #Parker

Oscar Wilde

If, with the literate, I am
Impelled to try an epigram,
I never seek to take the credit;
We all assume that Oscar said it.

#DorothyParker #Parker

The ugliest modern gesture - that of a man looking at his wrist-watch!

#DorothyParker #Parker

John Huston is doing something called, very simply, The Bible. Now you must admit that's a big job. I think he's going to stop with Moses because he can't stand another moment - he is playing Moses, you see.

#DorothyParker #Parker

On being told that someone wouldn't hurt a fly:
"Not if it was buttoned up."

#DorothyParker #Parker

John Huston is doing something called, very simply, The Bible. Now you must admit that's a big job. I think he's going to stop with Moses because he can't stand another moment - he is playing Moses, you see.

#DorothyParker #Parker

Name for a pet parrot:
"Onan" (because he spilled his seed on the bottom of his cage.)

#DorothyParker #Parker

Braggart

You will be frail and musty
With peering, furtive head,
While I am young and lusty
Among the roaring dead.

#DorothyParker #Parker