explore | Grilled Cheese

Nickname for Alexander Woollcott's New York apartment:
"Wit's End."

Telegram to an actress who finally had her baby after many carefully contrived appearances during her long pregnancy:
"GOOD WORK. WE ALL KNEW YOU HAD IT IN YOU."

#DorothyParker #Parker

George Sand

What time the gifted lady took
Away from paper, pen, and book,
She spent in amorous dalliance
(They do those things so well in France.)

#DorothyParker #Parker

Introducing her first husband:
"I want you to meet my little husband."

#DorothyParker #Parker

Mortal Enemy

Let another cross his way
She's the one will do the weeping!
Little need I fear he'll stray
Since I have his heart in keeping.

Let another hail him dear -
Little chance that he'll forget me!
Only need I curse and fear
Her he loved before he met me.

#DorothyParker #Parker

Her locks had been so frequently and so drastically brightened and curled that to caress them, one felt, would be rather like running one's fingers through julienne potatoes.

#DorothyParker #Parker

Experience

Some men break your heart in two,
Some men fawn and flatter,
Some men never look at you;
And that clears up the matter.

#DorothyParker #Parker

Bonne Bouche was all that Mrs Hazelton could ask of a pet. She was tiny, she was noiseless, and she had a real talent for sleeping. Mrs Hazelton loved her truly.

#DorothyParker #Parker

Of her job at Vanity Fair:
"My boss is an idiot, and the rest of the staff is four young men who go to pieces easily. Even when they're in the best of health, you have to stand on their insteps to keep them from flying away."

#DorothyParker #Parker

I should have stayed home for dinner. I could have had something on a tray. The head of John the Baptist, or something.

#DorothyParker #Parker

On being warned by her doctor that if she didn't stop drinking she would be dead within a month:
"Promises, promises!"

#DorothyParker #Parker

To a supercilious youth who said he "simply couldn't bear fools":
"How odd. Your mother could apparently."

#DorothyParker #Parker

Charles Dickens

Who call him spurious and shoddy
Shall do it o'er my lifeless body.
I heartily invite such birds
To come outside and say those words!

#DorothyParker #Parker

Lips that taste of tears are the best for kissing.

#DorothyParker #Parker

Of her pet dog's mange:
"I suppose he got it from a lamp-post."

#DorothyParker #Parker

Of Elmer Rice:
"Without question the worst fuck I ever had."

#DorothyParker #Parker

I require only three things of a man: he must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.

#DorothyParker #Parker

On being told at a Halloween party that people were ducking for apples:
"There, but for a single consonant, is the story of my life."

#DorothyParker #Parker

Colliding with Clare Booth Luce in a doorway:
CBL: "Age before beauty."
DP (stepping aside): "Pearls before swine."

#DorothyParker #Parker