#LastLaugh

Two slices of bread got married.
The wedding was amazing

…..until someone decided to toast the bride and groom…..

#LastLaugh

I've decided to not renew my prescription glasses.

I've seen enough…..

#LastLaugh

I've lost control.
I don’t see an end.
There is no escape.
I don't even have a home anymore.

Guess it’s time for a new keyboard….

#LastLaugh

I gave my friend an apple.
She said she'd prefer a pear.

So l gave her another apple…..

#LastLaugh

As a mom, I sleep peacefully knowing that if someone breaks in they’ll trip over my kids toys and meet their end.

#LastLaugh

I accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles.

My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster…..

#LastLaugh

I asked my 4 year old daughter to summarize Frozen.

She looked at me funny and said, ‘Well if I SUMMERIZE it, then it would be called MELTED!!’

#LastLaugh

When my wife is upset I let her colour in my tattoos.

She just wants a shoulder to crayon....

#LastLaugh

For the past-three weeks I’ve been jogging a mile a day.

Now don't know where I am....

#LastLaugh

A genie granted me one wish - so l wished to be happy.

Now I live with 6 dwarves and work in a mine....

#LastLaugh

My niece calls me Ankle.

I call her my Knees....

#LastLaugh

Today, my parsley, sage, and rosemary
all turned against me.

Thyme is on my side though…..

#LastLaugh

Giant Redwood trees have a certain je ne sequoia about them...