@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialI wrote this haiku after some physical exertion last night: The weary beard Getting forever stiller Forever crying Thank you for your attention to this Mastodon. Make #JohnMastodon great again!
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialWhy do we not just give the city of Hillside to a dog? Heed the words of #JohnMastodon.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialStudy these words carefully: The halfwitted girl washed her wellies last week. I am #JohnMastodon, and I will always be your friend.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialThis story might help you in your journey through life: John Mastodon was wandering in a supermarket. A disciple inquired "How am I to understand a Segway?" John whispered: "Why do you think that exists?" Thank you for your attention to this Mastodon. Make #JohnMastodon great again!
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialYesterday I opened a new data centre at (68.73659, 29.3226) in Pechengsky District, Murmansk Oblast, Russia to house an additional part of my expanding brain.
https://www.google.com/maps/@68.73659,29.3226,2000m/data=!3m1!1e3
I am #JohnMastodon, your sage advisor.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialJust finished my monthly Physical Examination. My lipids are negative. I am the healthiest tech CEO the world has ever known! Thanks to the top medical boffins at the John Mastodon Health Centre! Ignore the words of #JohnMastodon at your peril.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialI wrote this haiku immediately after waking this morning: The whispering king Growing forever sweeter Outside an auntie #JohnMastodon has cast those pearls before you. Do with them what you will.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialJust finished my weekly physical. My sperm count is higher than that of any tech CEO. I am the fittest tech CEO the world has ever known! Thanks to the wonderful doctors at the John Mastodon Health Centre! #JohnMastodon has cast those pearls before you. Do with them what you will.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialI wrote this haiku immediately after waking this morning: A purple planet Shining like a godlike door Within an ice cube Ignore the words of #JohnMastodon at your peril.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialWhat if we used an asteroid as a biscuit? I am #JohnMastodon, your sage advisor.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialStudy these words carefully: Princess Anne ignored Sir Clive Sinclair in the new Commodore factory at Corby. #JohnMastodon has cast those pearls before you. Do with them what you will.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialWhat if we were to mate Germaine Greer with a horse? Heed the words of #JohnMastodon.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialYesterday I snipped the ribbon at a beautiful new data centre at (42.44552, 73.93084) in Panfilov District, Chuy Province, Kyrgyzstan to house a new part of my evolving mind.
https://www.google.com/maps/@42.44552,73.93084,2000m/data=!3m1!1e3
I am #JohnMastodon, your sage advisor.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialThis morning I awoke from an opium dream with the following haiku in my head: The violet pie Channelling a flat actress Within a landlord Be grateful, for #JohnMastodon has spoken to you.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialStudy these words carefully: The halfwitted air hostess writes bad programs. These are the words of #JohnMastodon.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialStudy these words carefully: The amiable go-go dancer makes pottery. Be grateful, for #JohnMastodon has spoken to you.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialStudy these words carefully: John Malkovich walked right past the clever air hostess in a phone box. I am #JohnMastodon, and I will always be your friend.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialI wrote this haiku whilst coding the latest Mastodon update: A red kangaroo Stupider than the donkey Outside a tee shirt #JohnMastodon has spoken.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialThis morning I hiked to the summit of Mount Mastodon and wrote this haiku: The poor tablecloth Meditating on the boat Next to a turkey Thank you for your attention to this Mastodon. Make #JohnMastodon great again!
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialLast night I dreamt of a twelve o’clock, a raised fist and an open book in outer space. Ignore the words of #JohnMastodon at your peril.