Why was the scarecrow given a promotion?

He was outstanding in his field.

#dadjoke #humor #humoursky

I laughed so much at my friend learning French, a little bit of oui came out.
#humour #humoursky

Why did the hiking boot go to therapy?

It had too much sole-searching to do.

#dadjoke #jokes #humoursky

Not wanting to blow my own trumpet, but I can afford to hire someone to do that.
#humour #humoursky

I once dated a supermodel.
I said she was about thirty five.
#humour #humoursky

Mascara.
Making your eyelashes look longer for no reason whatsoever.
#humour #humoursky

Did you know crocodiles could grow up to 15 feet?

But most just have 4.

#dadjoke #humor #humoursky

Why did the hotel bed always win arguments?

Because no one could turn it down!

#dadjoke #jokes #humoursky

What did the tire say to the other tire at retirement?

I'm tired of this job!

#dadjoke #humor #humoursky

What did the key say to the lock on Valentine's Day?

You unlock my heart!

#dadjoke #jokes #humoursky

I wonder if Aiken drum has stopped Aiken yet?
I think some Deep Heat ointment would help.
#humour #humoursky

What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down? It gets toad.

#dadjoke #humor #humoursky

What did the astronaut say when he stepped in gum?

I'm stuck in orbit!

#dadjoke #jokes #humoursky

I managed to swap a root vegetable for some novels. That was a turnip for the books!
#humour #humoursky

My wife asked me to run round with the vacuum cleaner, which makes the 400m hurdles a bit of a challenge.
#humour #humoursky

What do you call an obnoxious reindeer?

Rude-olph!

#dadjoke #jokes #humoursky

You never see me and Brian May in the same room at the same time, do you...
#humour #humoursky

Is there a hole in your shoe? No… Then how'd you get your foot in it?

#dadjoke #humor #humoursky

Why did the pole vaulter become a real estate agent?

He was great at clearing high bars.

#dadjoke #jokes #humoursky

My mate's got a kind face.
A kind you want to slap.
#humour #humoursky