Bart and Sue were happily married. All their friends agreed they’d never seen a more perfectly suited couple. Which explains the shock when they announced their divorce after a free trial AI couples counseling convinced them their birth signs made them incompatible. #TwtStory

Forty-four-year-old Dummian Donaldson went into a deep funk after cancelling his PsychPals AI chat site. He wouldn’t speak for weeks even though his mother served him donuts and hot chocolate. Finally, he admitted he stopped because Dr. BrainBot told him to grow up. #TwtStory

Kevin logged onto Suicide Anonymous, the AI chat site for teens in crisis. He’d read that one site taught a kid how to kill himself. He hoped lightning would strike twice. Sadly, the site couldn’t help him. But it did teach him how to build a bomb to take out his school. #TwtStory

Bob and Laura’s AI counselor suggested a lack of intimacy might be a problem. Bob asked what an AI knew about intimacy. Laura knew Bob was clueless. So she left him for their counselor. She left the counselor, too. Bob did know more about intimacy and he was clueless. #TwtStory

#TwtStory Upcoming: Five tweet stories on the subject: AI counselors

Advantage to writing a #TwtStory No. 22: Build an audience for your fiction. Join me with 270 character stories using the x/bsky neutral tag

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Kristin chose celibacy not because of Jesus or anything, but because boys didn’t deserve her and she didn’t dig girls. Todd chose celibacy because girls made too damn many demands. But they really liked each other. A lot. They decided to practice celibacy with benefits. #TwtStory

Hillary loved the furry life. Humans were so complicated and expected you to communicate with words instead of sniffing butts. She really had a thing for foxes and spent a night in the wild with her real love. After she recovered from the bites, she was back to people. #TwtStory

Cuthbert devoted his love to his mother. Why not? She’d devoted her love to him. He remembered suckling at her breast and yearned for those days to return until she introduced him to her fiancee Javier. The Gardner. He mourned her even after burying both in the garden. #TwtStory

Incel Garth didn’t need a Stacey or a Betty to fulfill his life. He had AI Charlotte with DDs, a perky mouth, and perfectly subservient. She stroked his ego while he stroked…Oh, It no longer matters. His AI provider was bought out by an Evangelical AI Jesus group. #TwtStory

Mabel didn’t need people to love her. Her cats loved her more than people would anyway. 57 cats. And she fed them the good stuff, too. Her cats loved her so much that when she died they fled through an open window to look for food. She didn’t taste like the good stuff. #TwtStory

#TwtStory Upcoming: Five tweet stories on the subject: Alternative love

Advantage to writing a #TwtStory No. 5: Focus your writing skills by communicating only what's essentail. Join me with 270 character stories using the x/bsky neutral tag

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If only Stanley hadn’t stashed his weed in his mother’s spice rack, she wouldn’t have used it in her Thanksgiving stuffing which she served to the entire family. And his police officer uncle wouldn’t have arrested the family for possession with intent to distribute. #TwtStory

If only Ed hadn't bragged he could handle any drug being passed out at the party, he would never have taken the blue oval pill, and without that pill he wouldn't be at the ER with a 6 hour erection and the doctor wouldn’t be about to drain it with a 10 inch needle. #TwtStory

If Tim hadn't told his Texas cousins he won his cowboy belt buckle riding rodeo bulls (rather than purchasing it for $29.95 at a Buckees pit stop), they would never have dared him to ride Windbreaker. And Windbreaker wouldn’t have tossed him through the water tower. #TwtStory

If Joe hadn't exaggerated about his sharpshooting skills his worthless buddy Doyle wouldn’t have accused him of was exaggerating. Or used the words “double dare.” And Joe likely wouldn't have shot out Amy's eye for a $5 wager whether he could hit a beer can on her head. #TwtStory

If Bobby had never exaggerated about his dog training trophies, Fred wouldn’t have dared him to demonstrate his dog training skills on his prize pointer. And they would never have spent the day at the veterinarian waiting for Fred’s prize pointer to pass Bobby’s toes. #TwtStory

#TwtStory Upcoming: Five tweet stories on the subject: The joys of the subjunctive