Alexander caught that pesky rat with a homemade glue trap and threw it in the fire pit. The rat caught fire and ran back into the house, burning it to the ground. When the insurance company denied his claim, he said, “at least I killed the mother fucking rat.” #TwtStory

Prissy told her housemate Priceless she scratched the pet sitter’s face because she’d warned the humans not to feed her that crap anymore. Priceless pointed out the pet sitter wasn’t one of their humans. Prissy said, “Those damned humans need to communicate better.” #TwtStory

#TwtStory Upcoming: Five tweet stories on the subject: Animal revenge tales

Bill confided in Ted, “My wife Sharon’s a shameless slut. Every man flirts with her and she flirts back. I bet she’s already headed to a motel with a coworker. She married me for my money.”
Ted said, “You’re just a security guard. A 2 like you shouldn’t marry an 11.” #TwtStory

Miss Maltratada collapsed behind her desk in the teachers’ lounge. “I can’t take another day. They’re sadistic little barbarians who can scorch the earth in their wake.”
Mr. Smith said, “They’re first graders. Maybe if you stopped calling them little Nazis in class.” #TwtStory

Chantel dragged her feet across the carpet, trailing her coat behind her. “What a day! Surrounded by cretins. Asshole boss. Jealous coworkers.”
Chad said, “You’re such a drama queen.”
She removed her wig, became Brad again. “That’s the nicest thing I’ve heard all day.” #TwtStory

Karen’s parents were monsters. Real monsters. They locked her in her room. Fed her moldy scraps of bread. Beat her mercilessly before sending her to work as a stripper. After she called child services, and they left, her mom said, “There’s no way you get a pony now. #TwtStory

#TwtStory Upcoming: Five tweet stories on the subject: Drama queens

Advantage to writing a #TwtStory No. 10: Generates ideas for longer, publishable stories. Join me with 270 character stories using the x/bsky neutral tag

#TwtStory
#AmWriting #writers #write #MicroFiction #fictionwriter #writerswednesday

The roof collapsed during a service at the Church of Random Occurrences. At first the congregants believed it was the apocalypse. When they recovered they saw two pairs of legs dangling through the hole. Turns out the High Priests kids had jumped between the rafters. #TwtStory

The Church of Random Occurrences launched missions to spread the word of God’s random love. They selected sites by tossing darts at a map while blindfolded. Until the mission to the Indian Ocean disappeared. They changed the rules to darts landing on populated areas. #TwtStory

The Church of Random Occurrences held family gambling night instead of pot luck for fellowships. But only random games like roulette, craps, and bingo. When newcomers asked how gambling was a form of worship, the High Priest said, “Twenty percent of all bets go to God.” #TwtStory

Vandals spray painted the Church of Random Occurrences with obscenities. The Priest told authorities the vandals were from their rival church, the Church of Divine Micromanagement. But members of the church told the cops it was probably the Priest’s disobedient kids. #TwtStory

The High Priest of the Church of Random Occurrences preached God would return what they gave in the offering. The usher dropped the offering plate. Bills scattered across the room. “Hallelujah! A miracle. God returned it!
But randomly, and not to the original donors. #TwtStory

#TwtStory Upcoming: Five tweet stories on the subject: The Church of Random Occurrences

Fond Memories ran for 12 straight years as the Bellingham’s guided their kids and neighbor Johnny Jive through puberty. During a vacation show in Hawaii, Johnny jumped a shark without a stunt double. The shark ate him, leading to the catchphrase “feeding the shark.” #TwtStory

Teen comedies Where’s Rabbit and Dougie Trubble dominated 1950s ratings until their network tried a live crossover event where they two gave each other black eyes. After cancellation they went through rehab together and now live in Boulder with their pet dog Scruffy. #TwtStory

Bill’s was the top rated sitcom on NBC. He went from stand-up to playing a respectable doctor with incorrigible teens and an understanding wife who put up with his foibles until his female patients showed up at their door complaining they couldn’t remember the visit. #TwtStory

TJ and Sassy rented a cheap apartment in Harlem where they faced hilarious problems: poor repairs, rats, a dimwit super. The most popular running jokes involved the landlord, Donald Trump. Who evicted them. Then he had NBC replace their series with The Apprentice. #TwtStory

Hattie Missouri could get away with anything because she was a kid. Kids are smarter than parents. You can sass them, go behind their backs, and they’re too wack to stop you. Until she woke up in a black and white 1950s comedy where parents spank smarty-mouthed kids. #TwtStory