Women who live alone in small residential hotels throughout the United States have plenty of money and plenty of time: their only occupation is to spend one and kill the other.

#DorothyParker #Parker

...Why is it no one ever sent me yet
One perfect limousine, do you suppose?
Ah no, it's just my luck to get
One perfect rose.

#DorothyParker #Parker

On hearing the door bell or telephone ringing:
"What fresh hell is this?"

#DorothyParker #Parker

Of a play by Channing Pollock:
"The House Beautiful" is The Play Lousy.

#DorothyParker #Parker

Wit has truth in it. Wise-cracking is simply callisthenics with words.

#DorothyParker #Parker

Reuben's Children

Accursed from their birth they be
Who seek to find monogamy,
Pursuing it from bed to bed -
I think they would be better dead.

#DorothyParker #Parker

Thought For a Sunshiny Morning

It costs me never a stab or squirm
To tread by chance upon a worm.
"Aha, my little dear," I say,
"Your clan will pay me back one day."

#DorothyParker #Parker

News Item

Men seldom make passes
At girls who wear glasses.

#DorothyParker #Parker

Of the 1930s:
"They were progressive days. We thought we were going to make the world better - I forget why we thought it, but we did."

#DorothyParker #Parker

Telegram sent to two friends who had been living together and then got married:
"WHAT'S NEW?"

#DorothyParker #Parker

On being asked the title of her talk to the Congress of American Writers' poetry session in 1939:
"Sophisticated Verse and The Hell with it."

#DorothyParker #Parker

Of her job at Vanity Fair:
"My boss is an idiot, and the rest of the staff is four young men who go to pieces easily. Even when they're in the best of health, you have to stand on their insteps to keep them from flying away."

#DorothyParker #Parker

Of her pet dog's mange:
"I suppose he got it from a lamp-post."

#DorothyParker #Parker

On finding herself a guest at a private house:
"I knew it would be terrible. Only I didn't think it would be as bad as this. This isn't just plain terrible; this is fancy."

#DorothyParker #Parker

Love is for unlucky folk,
Love is but a curse.
Once there was a heart I broke:
And that, I think, is worse.

#DorothyParker #Parker

Words of Comfort to be Scratched on a Mirror

Helen of Troy had a wandering glance;
Sappho's restriction was only the sky;
Ninon was ever the chatter of France;
But oh, what a good girl am I!

#DorothyParker #Parker

To a friend who asked her if she liked her hair:
"Lovely. I can't wait for mine to go gray so I can have it made blue."

#DorothyParker #Parker

Rhyme Against Living

If wild my breast and sore my pride,
I bask in dreams of suicide;
If cool my heart and high my head,
I think, "How lucky are the dead!"

#DorothyParker #Parker

Women who live alone in small residential hotels throughout the United States have plenty of money and plenty of time: their only occupation is to spend one and kill the other.

#DorothyParker #Parker

Cherry White

I never see that prettiest thing -
A cherry bough gone white with spring -
But but what I think, "How gay 'twould be
To hang me from a flowering tree."

#DorothyParker #Parker