All animals can scream.

oh yeah and there’s also a new episode of all creatures great and small tonight at 9 i should maybe mention that too

I want lord dominator to dominate me

nah we’re more excited for the hit Jack Black comedy, Nacho Libre! Tonight at 10 on soon-to-be sister network, TLC!

Personally i think you should go watch the new Caddicarus video instead but what do I know

I told keith not to practice necromancy. let’s just say he’s gonna wake up monday morning with a hangover and a p45.

Hey man i’ve been pinged by random people all the time and you’re the first one to realise this is a parody account lol :D

You don’t understand, if we don’t do at least 2 documentaries on the royals each month, my boss sends me to the naughty corner. You don’t wanna know what happens in the naughty corner.

We would but Jeremy said he’d mow us down with his bike if we replaced him.

We have been notified about an issue with tonight’s Police Interceptors. Not sure what you want me to do though. I’m just a social media manager, not Jesus.

LEAVE ME ALONE OKAY IM HAVING A EPISODE

So are we! We’re so excited, it makes us go Oogly-Goo!

Ugly Americans marathon all day today I can’t be arsed bro

Due to us accidentally replacing the sugar in our scheduler’s tea with methamphetamine, tonight’s edition of “The Great Wall of China with Dan Snow” will be replaced with Lesbian Space Princess. Dan Snow will instead be shown tomorrow at 9pm on 5Select. We apologise for the inconvenience.