I would buy this headstone then: 1) turn straight 2) find and marry a woman 3) reproduce with her until we had a daughter 4) name the daughter Hannah Baker 5) and wait

I remember the good old days (before Covid) when you could get a box of these for what.... $10? Now you're lucky to find them for cheap at $20... AND the post-Hallowe'en sale price? $18.99! No longer worth it sadly

I support your hilariousness