Get your black belt? No I’m sorry, I teach marital arts, not martial arts.

This just in! I’m pretty great.

Toxic Off-gassing hq.

CORRECTION: On page 52 in issue #1 of Ape Sh*t, the photo below is listed with other pics as examples of injuries from capuchin monkeys. This, however, was from a spider monkey. I regret the error.

Apples are in season!

Today I learned that Air Supply never broke up. They are still out there, performing, AND THEY MUST BE STOPPED.

Yeah, it’s like men and demonic smashed together!

Holy shit!

Watching Lifeforce, one of the nakedest movies to feature Patrick Stewart (not naked).

I did not. Anyone want to come over and watch 300 movies?

Maybe the rancid peanuts I just ate will kill me before I get home.

Oh shit. She’s working a half day today.

Honestly, I don’t know why you’re taking your cat in to get circumcised anyway.

It’s Christmas in September! I’m expecting three large boxes of DVDs to arrive today. For that same reason, I am anticipating needing a good divorce attorney if I don’t get home before my wife.

Albert Wesker bores the shit out of me, and I have no idea how Hunk became a player favorite.

As someone who found the first Mila Jovovitch version uninspired action instead of survival horror, The new Resident Evil movie delivered all the tension and horror without paying lip service to fanboys. It was true to the atmosphere of the game, not the tiresome characters.

Lesley Gore “Sunshine, Lollipops and Rainbows” -> Ray Conniff “Happiness Is,” two absolute bangers back to back, could use a split second more between tracks, but it keeps a cheery vibe going. A-

Counterpoint: you could wait for the Criterion edition to come out.

You got this.