They now have sexually transmitted diarrhea but I got mine through lettuce, the way god intended

Here is my pitch for anyone who has worries about rail: I think that building out rail is a necessary (but not sufficient) step in transforming American cities from totally car dependent to slightly walkable, in a way that no other form of transit is.

I keep trying to think of any historical example where a given technology's PROMOTERS AND TRUE BELIEVERS were like 'we are absolutely going to ruin your fucking life so be prepared like it's the end of the world'

nothing is better than buying a shirt on a whim, completely forgetting you did it, and having it show up a week later

I recorded a radio commercial with him once. While I was editing he picked up a copy of The Onion and read this article. Dude was pissed. Every vein in his head bulging. Trying to explain to Ditka the concept of a satirical newspaper was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.

jesus christ i have never heard a democratic talk this bluntly about an opponent

I converted to Catholicism six weeks before running for office. Here’s what the pope gets wrong about live-streamed executions.

This would sink a presidency in any other era. I would bet most Americans will never hear it even happened.

its just weird how theyre never gaming out scenarios for curing cancer or anything like that, i couldve sworn they said that was one of their big goals

moths must have been bored out of their minds before we invented clothes and light bulbs

Vance re Oklahoma City:

huh, interesting that vance thinks this is the worst terrorist attack and not oklahoma city

Richest man alive, who sentenced millions of the neediest people on earth to death, thinks we should be nicer to AI

Also the Chronicle is breaking my brain, this poll shows the proposition winning by a 12 point margin but apparently this means that it is not winning at all

wearing bike shorts under my jorts under my overalls under my hazmat suit