Watching “The Nightmare Before Christmas” with my 5-year-old nephew and his understanding of the movie is that Sally is Jack’s mom Which I feel like is a real Take™️ on the way the characters are written

they did the thing

A New Color (1/5🧵)

I hope everyone has a Hussein

🎃

Fuck ChatGPT flyers. The future is broadsheets.

I believe that due to modern colorfast dyes, it is much less of a thing than it once was Though not 0% a thing, as my daughter’s now pink baby blanket will attest

NASA Engineer: “Sir you cannot bring a beer growler onto the space shuttle.” Astronaut: “What, they got the fuckin’ TSA working for NASA now!?” Engineer: “You’ll have to dump it out, sir.” Astronaut: “‘Dump it out’ Fuck you.” *starts chugging*

Always a treat to be reminded of an old friend

Some categories of things are science based and some categories of things are vibes based and a lot of internet ink has been spilled trying to force the latter to be the former

As a pragmatic centrist, I read the Niemöller poem differently. After each group mentioned I pencil in what percentage of the population they are, and if it’s a small number I cross off their names as disposable. Poetry is fine but math wins elections!!

the much more disturbing "reverse pagliacci" where a clown tells you you should go see a doctor

Your Grandad Cyclops talks about his school days

this thread does not go where you think

Literally every time I comb my hair my wife and children all ask me “Did you get a hair cut?” and I feel like this is a direct attack on my general sense of style