My baby is sleeping on my lap

That's smart

I'm tired as well. I slept from 8:30am yesterday to 8pm then 12am - 7am and then 10am - 2pm but I'm still exhausted

4:45am and still awake. I think I'm going to take a cold shower or just sit outside. Not sure which but I am going to watch tvd

2:40am and wide awake. Going to work on making accounts

This whole going from drenched in sweat to freezing cold is so freaking annoying. I think it's the med changes. It's been happening on and off but it's been pretty bad the past few days.

Er visits are for all the dry heaving and puking and not drinking when already maxed out on the three nausea meds at home. I literally avoid the er until I can't choke down the like 20 pills I have to take a day

So that is great. And the current gi doc said i have to lower my nausea med that I usually use when I get nauseous which means probably more er visits when the nausea comes back but hopefully no hospitalizations. Just no eating for months again. Praying it stays gone a while.

Now is because it can cause issues with my qt and when I go to the motility center in February for my gastroparesis which causes the nausesa the one med they might give me can prolong my qt as well. So, one thing messes with the other. And when I'm not dealing with nausea I tend to have migraines --

Oh and the whole nausea. I basically spent February until the beginning of September nauseous and not eating and 2 hospitalizations in that time. Plus once for my heart and had to stop two of my bipolar meds then which is why things are even worse now. The reason we are trying to stop the one--

I am going off my phone for a little cause my head hurts. Feel free to ignore my vent

Ok my vent is done for now

And am greatful for him.

The auditory Hallucinations was how I was diagnosed. So, far I've just dealt with mania. I already told my psychatrist there are a few meds I'll never try again and he agrees thankfully. I've had him for 15+ years even though he is technically peds i think or does mostly under 18. I adore him --

The last time because I was sexually harassed by a male paitent and my lesbian roommate crawled into my bed in the middle of the night. I refuse to have that happen again. So, as long as I don't have Hallucinations I do not plan on returning. I have not had Hallucinations since I was 11 and --

Also, I'm dealing with bipolar here which I've had for 21 years since I was 11. So, I was stable for the past like 8 years but meds needed changed which led to all this shit. I've been hospitalized 3 times in 21 years and the last was over 10 years ago. I never want to experience that after --

that wears off within the next month I'll most likely be dealing with nausea again. I don't have a clue what I'm going to do when that happens. I'm tired and want it over with. Sorry needed to vent.

and the only other option to try right now is a steroid which will make my mania even worse while I'm on it. Only positive is I'm nausea free at the moment because I got botox to the muscle on the inside of my stomach when I was hospitalized for nausea in the beginning of August. When --

handle the quiet anymore. Which, also sucks because I have adhd that I can't take meds for right now either. It's like I can't win right now and it seems so unfair. I know it could always be worse but this is pretty damn bad and extremely frustrating for me. Plus, I'm on day 6 of a migraine --