Happy Columbo Day

We're holding out for a full Italian American sculpture garden. Sacco and Vanzetti, Ida Lupino, young sexy Pacino, old shouty Pacino, Martin Scorsese's mother, and a 20-foot-tall Abe Vigoda, whom we grant honorary Italian American status.

no can do, Boss. I can’t “look over these spreadsheets.” For Aphrodite and Excel have broken me with longing, whispering sweet nothings like “spread” and “sheets”

It's October and that means it's once again time to get Immediately Killed by a Werewolf. (Art by the great Lucas Adams)

TWO spots left!

Greek Tragedies as Teen Movies by Jenny Gorelick

THE SOCIAL RECKONING INT. COURTROOM - DAY Attorney: "In German, 'Zukerberg' translates to 'sugar mountain.' Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my client is nothing more than a big sweetie. {Murmurs and gasps fill the courtroom} Judge: {banging gavel} Order! Order!

And check out this thread (just updated!) to see some of the great writing that's come out of past workshops.

I've also got spots left in my brand new workshop that's focused on rewrites. If you've got a piece you've been working on for a while and want to get over the finish line, this is the class for you!

I'm being told it's international translation day 👀

This Boat Is for Silent Brooding by Joe Kleinschmidt

Still got a few spots left in my advanced short humor writing workshop starting next week! Writing from previous workshops has gone on to be published by The New Yorker (print and online), McSweeney's, and more! More info at the link below 👇

Tonight! Still time to get tickets. Will also be followed by a Q&A!

One night only (for now)! A virtual screening of the movie written and directed by (Borat voice) my wife Marina Tempelsman and @niccoaeed.bsky.social! Tomorrow (Sept 30th) at 8PM. Hope you can check it out! I'm biased, but it's pretty dang great.

I'm not exaggerating when I say that reading about the first Moby-Dick film adaptation was life-changing for me.

if I was Cyclops I'd spend a lot of time tossing pumpkins into the air and blowin em up. People would try to make plans with me and I'd get mad and say I'm working on something really important but they'd see the gourd meat on my shoes

Happy to include, it's a great piece!

This edition of the newsletter also includes a link to a piece that is one of the most delightful things I've read recently. Any fans of Moby-Dick need to check this out.