COOKED. TO. A. CRISP.

Sex sells

Kyle was excommunicated in 1997 for claiming his farts were “kinda like the Holy Ghost”

The Pope showed the Italians a deep dish pizza and they tried to kill him

my Ambassador to Greece

over the weekend, leon went rogue and compromised six or maybe seven miller high lifes that were in the fridge. the incident occurred on saturday night and also involved a red baron frozen pizza. we are conducting a thorough investigation into how this happened

Glad the talented Daniel Craig is playing me (Uncle Andrew) on the big screen. I don’t think he’s eaten enough pizza but I’m giving him and Greta some creative leeway

Kyle had a supporting role in Dongstroker 3 and hosted a podcast about dildos from 2014-2017. He’s been in prison since then

The events depicted in the Halloween movies actually happen quite frequently in Illinois. Michael Myers was normal before deep dish pizza “programmed” him to kill

TFW someone suggests building a stadium with your own money

If the tables were turned, this would be your post today: “The Bears are probably the best team in the history of the world!!! Should Packer fans be executed or merely put into labor camps? Hard to say!”

Cheap knock off of Police Cops

Ah! I read this a book called “Things Losers Say”

FYI it’s Columbus Day tomorrow so Diarrhea Offices may be closed

this may just be a fundraising maneuver. bigger question is what happens if Rob Sand wins 1) Chuck retires in the lame duck session so Kim Reynolds can replace him with his idiot grandson or 2) Iowa legislator uses the lame duck session to strip the governor of appointment power

I’ve asked on several occasions not to subtweet me