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Ukraine Denies Attack on Putin Residence: “We’re Helping Him Build a Ballroom”

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Home of Truth
Free newsletter subscription: BorowitzReport.com
Ukraine Denies Attack on Putin Residence: “We’re Helping Him Build a Ballroom”
Pam Bondi Passes Out from Sharpie Fumes after Redaction Marathon
When someone says, “Quiet, piggy,” the appropriate response is, “Shut up, child rapist.” #ettiquette
Jimmy Kimmel should have stuck to acceptable comments, like suggesting that homeless people be executed
JD Vance is calling on employers to fire employees for exercising their First Amendment rights. Yet another reminder why I’m grateful that I don’t work for corporate media—I work for my readers. And now, JD, I will exercise my First Amendment rights by telling you to go fuck your fascist self.
Instead of the media’s lazy posthumous takes, I am in favor of Kirk’s actual words being spread far and wide.
I guess now that the murder suspect has been identified, Trump owes left wing lunatics an apology. Not gonna happen? Okay, then I’ll settle for him releasing the Epstein files
An explanation of Trump’s DC takeover: though crime in the city is at a 30-year low, interest in the Epstein Files is at a 30-year high
NOT A JOKE: Trump is killing people around the world and at home. He must be impeached and convicted. #MIDTERMS2026
I don’t want to exaggerate my powers of prediction but I posted this ten years ago:
Join me in celebrating I-Wish-We-Had-This-President Day