careful you don’t get nougat stuck in ur teeth

in the nfl if u get a concussion u stop work for the day judging by many of the emails i read my job has no such policy

man i love that sound

it would be so sick to get discovered in some rubble by a golden retriever

wienermobile

ok, u seem into it so i don’t want to anymore thanks tho

i idle at ashamed

just circling back on this lol

i can do this for u i promise i wont be weird

audiophiles are like i came as soon as i heard

my wife is going as the protagonist from the magic school bus for halloween and i had a fleeting moment where i thought about going as snoop dog so i could say “fo shizzle miss frizzle”but there isn’t really a racially sensitive way to do that so guess who’ll be mr banana for the 10th year in a row

billy energy is…..the curser *montage of billy swears and criminals cowering*

“they got a bunch of hall of famers but we got a bunch of gamers” is such a good line

not a lot of hands over hearts but i come from the kind of place with lots of firework injuries so can’t gauge too accurately

they’re playing thunderstruck at this high school football game and everyone stopped and stood up like it was the national anthem lmao

imagine wanting to go to oregon so badly the likely fate of shitting urself to death is acceptable

“You’ll never guess in a thousand years who I heard from” I won’t have to, you’ve given me a thousand years, I'm going to become a sorcerer

he was at the urinal! PISS EVERYWHERE!!!

the more u know rainbow shoots over ur stupid head

hoping for twins 🤞