on me. I am a Stoic, and only i'm standing in my own way of that. The amount of money I have, the things I own, others opinions or perceptions, the area I live in, my age, weight, health - none of it actually impedes my ability to take myself back.

believe I can't be that person again, whatever the risk or sacrifices that'd entail. Thinking, acting, speaking the way I did back then brought me an inborn peace and happiness i've only been fleetingly coming close since. But achieving it again is totally

LIVED it. I set those things in motion, without any expectation of winning and in acceptance I could lose, and lose a lot, in good faith, for philosophically-consistent reasons. This continues to now, and me writing this. Its a mistake - an error, certifiably baseless - to let myself

something in college that helped a lot of people even at great risk to myself and my future and a low chance of success, i'd somehow let myself begin believing I wasn't worthy of the gravity of what I practice. I let myself develop a bizarre imposter syndrome - bizarre, because I

tried. Stoicism, the philosophy, feeds into everything that I think, say, do now, sunrise to sunset. It is the only thing on this planet that convinced me that I am more than the things i'm surrounded by, what others think of me, and that I should believe in myself. After accomplishing

philosophy book of a class i'd been forced to take as a core course on an ancient philosophy i'd heard all of 20 minutes about. It, like so many other belief systems, claimed to have the real answer on why i'd been feeling so extremely, inescapably bad, but it was still something I hadn't

I remember it all. My face in my hands, alone in my dorm, inwardly pleading for it all to let me breathe, even for a minute - anger, hopelessness, sadness, confusion, self-loathing, more. All of it, so loud, intense, relentless. I hail mary'ed reading a badly translated excerpt from an intro to

I need to be prepared to confront my pain head on, at any time - to turn it over in front of me, name all its pieces one-by-one, and reflect how long its likely to last in the grand scheme. I'm strict, even ruthless, with whats going on in me, but thats the path I chose.

QTP with a GIF of the game you're currently playing Fire Emblem also, but Fortune’s Weave! Finally finished all the Part 1 paths - Theodora was my final path and I greatly enjoyed her story!

If i'm going to be who my role models knew I could be, And to help people to the fullest extent I might be able to, I can't think the way I used to think; I can't do things for the reasons I used to do them. Regardless of what I might win or lose, I need to be more than this.

It hurts to test a game i'm planning streaming and seeing its Unreal Engine 5