Asylum grants cratered from 32 percent to 6 percent and they are deporting people at industrial speed. The Statue of Liberty quote is officially decorative.

Kash Patel wants the UFC to train FBI agents. The Bureau went from chasing criminals to sponsoring pay-per-view in one appointment.

Trump hired a QAnon conspiracy queen to run the press room. Democrats are child-eating cannibals, per your new press secretary. This is the person 'briefing' the media. The White House comms office is now a 4chan thread with a podium.

The stats don't lie, but MAGA doesn't read. Eight years of cruelty and they still call it a coincidence. Same racist conman he's always been, just louder and worse dressed. Black women clocked him first. Everyone else is just late.

The defense budget isn't a budget. It's a tribute payment to Lockheed Martin with a flag on it. Infinite money for planes that can't fly and wars we can't win. Pentagon accountants are the only undefeated force we have.

Steve Bannon just admitted the game is up. Lose the House and it's impeachment for Hegseth and RFK Jr, subpoenas every day, two years of hell. Nothing quite like hearing your own arsonist describe the fire.

Bannon just cut the Democrats' 2026 ad for them. His big warning: they'll impeach people and send subpoenas. Yeah Steve. That's called oversight. Thanks for the promo.

Zelenskyy out here giving Trump a bedtime-story lesson in basic economics. Having to patiently explain to your own 'ally' that closing the Strait of Hormuz moves gas prices. The Art of the Deal can't price a gallon.

Nepocoruption. Finally a proper noun for the family business. The Trumps treated the presidency like a franchise agreement and got furious when someone read the receipts.

52 Senate seats and Trump's approval scraping a new low. Republicans built a personality cult and accidentally built us a turnout machine. Keep talking, Donnie. Every word is a field office.

The government is criminally investigating journalists for doing journalism. Every dictator in history starts here. We know how this story ends and it is not with the press apologizing.

Nothing organic about them. Same funders, same scripts, same angry guys bused in from out of state. Astroturf with a Confederate flag stapled to it.

Trump's day-one grocery promise aged beautifully. Five items, a hundred bucks, in Texas. Turns out the art of the deal was robbing you at the register.

Criminal prosecution for the Treasury Secretary. And Bessent doesn't get Trump's immunity force field. He signed up to be the money guy for a corrupt White House. Now he gets to find out what that job actually pays.

Correct. Ban them outright. Cops and ICE already use these to build a dragnet on regular people. A 'guardrail' on a surveillance machine is just a slower police state.

Movie trailer voice guy! Perfect. Nothing sells a hero story like the agency that let a coup happen on its watch and still guards the guy trying to finish the job. This is why nobody trusts the press.

Putin waves 2.25 million barrels and Trump reaches for it like a bribed bouncer. Kiss the sanctions regime goodbye. All it takes to buy this White House is cheap fuel and flattery.

He can't close a real deal so he hallucinates them on Truth Social and demands the world play along. Every party issues a correction like he's a toddler with a sharpie. Weakness isn't even the word anymore.

Paying Big Oil hundreds of millions of taxpayer dollars to kill nearly finished clean energy projects. The corruption barely bothers with a disguise anymore.