Then send them my thanks :3

Okay for now let's make it so I do 5 squats for every 5 gift subs :3 And the 10 and 20 sub incentives will be if they're done all in one go, not cumulatively so I can keep track of it easier

Yes.

Also will be keeping the BeanBoozled sub incentive for now since it's fun, but I will be increasing it to 10 gift subs instead of 5 to slow it down a bit. I'll try and think of a good incentive for gifting 5 subs to make up for it! Also 20 gift subs will let you put a PNG on my screen for the month!

Yeah I've called off work today too. ... honestly, this feels like my body is telling me to quit my job at this point.

I'm sorry to do this again on shorter notice but I can't stream today either x.x I desperately tried to sleep for it but I couldn't. My body hates me, I'm really sorry u.u

I suppose the TLDR of this whole thread is that I'm not as good at looking after myself as I thought I was xD but hey, it's a learning process. And, also, I'm still alive, and as long as I'm breathing I can make sure I look after myself. I just need the time.

I get my own health is a priority, and a lot of the previous posts are probably poor self care, but, honestly, I'm just trying to make the most of my time. Maybe things'll improve if I quit work. I dunno. Would give me more time to get my life in order, I guess.

The problem is also that the docs over here are overworked and understaffed all the time so I don't wanna add to the problems, especially if what I have isn't serious x.x But also I work so much I don't have TIME to book a doctors appointment between streaming and generally resting so... blegh. x.x

I don't get hungry too often, and I only really eat at regular times to try and keep up a routine in the hope of getting it back. Realistically that may be due to long-term stress/anxiety/some other mental thing but I do feel a bit better on time off work. ... I still should see a doctor though.

Gonna be honest I've been sleeping pretty badly all week so I won't be streaming today so I can get a little more rest. In better news, the body aches have eased a bit today so maybe I'll actually be able to rest a but more before work later.

Honestly my only options are either to stay in this limbo where I feel myself getting worse and worse every month, or finally walk out and hit streaming as hard as possible in the vain hope of somehow making enough money through that to support myself. I know it's insane, but I want to. I NEED to.

It's taking everything I have to not walk out of my current job because I got paid decently from the hours I put in last month, but having a whole week off work made me realise how depressed and stressed it was making me. There are no other good alternate jobs ANYWHERE near for me to take either.

Today is one of those days where I don't think I can be bothered to do anything other than stay in bed because my back hurts and my ribs hurt and I feel light headed and I'm slowly sinking into a depressed state or going borderline insane from how bullshit life is being. ... I don't think I'm okay.

I got sick today. I think I stressed myself out so much over stuff it's stuck around. This sucks. I hate being stressed.

Anything helps at this point 😔 paycheck was very very small due to having been in the negatives-

Very good butt :D

Mood.