Found this in a Clacton charity shop earlier. Who made it? What for? Many questions. And no it didn't say Ride a Cowboy on the back. Maybe it was part of a set though 🤷🏻‍♀️ That's a Vaseline lip balm in my pocket by the way, I'm not just pleased to see you.

A Grand Designs where it takes so long that the Eastern European home builder develops an Edinburgh accent in the process is the best sort 😂 How lovely!

Suella Braverman selling 106 copies of her book after all that publicity is so delicious.

Top ten most foreboding sentence I've ever read.

Ah I know, thank you 🙏🏼🙏🏼 His dad lives off processed meat and a pack of cigarettes a day so will no doubt outlive me by decades. No, seriously, I will definitely take these things seriously, I promise! 🙂

The Will Men addressed me as 'Madam' today. I pointed at my sleeping child, muttered 'I've got nothing left to leave him' and stumbled out of there, to our chaotic administrative fate.

IT'S THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING IVE EVER SEEN 😭😂

treat your body like a data center. consume as much water, art and literature as possible. upset local municipalities with your existence.

Would sell my soul to the Devil to even sniff a Lidl bakery counter hazelnut brioche.

Hah I haven't but that's a GREAT title 😂 I always used to do weights but got more into cardio after having my kid (lost 40+lb of 'baby weight' through walking and cross trainer!!) and now need to get back into it and get a good balance of the two. Weights are SO much more satisfying!

This is literally the first time in almost 40yrs I have seen the word gonk or had any knowledge of what is a gonk, thank you for your service.

By 'a while' I mean less than a month, it just feels like 600yrs.

Been on a no bread, lower wine, high protein, lots of gym light weightlifting regime for a while and I'm absolutely gutted to report that I look and feel excellent other than occasionally feeling like I want to do quite serious crimes. Way fewer crumbs to clean up in the kitchen too. Annoying.

once again, the subs have chosen a headline specifically aimed at getting me killed. anyway: Zack Polanski is not standing down, give over

Oh THANKS for that 😂😂😂😂🤢

If I was even a quarter as wealthy as he, good lord the things I'd do with tailoring (and dentistry)!!!

You can't trust a man's judgement on ANYTHING after THAT!!!

Hah! Must be a Jack Cox thing. Urgh imagine the fluff in your teeth, eating a cat 😬

Sorry, guys. This one's on me.