the dominos pizza tracker was the genesis of the modern surveillance state. my column,

oh we didn't adopt this guy, we just took him out for the day to get him some extended exercise. maybe one day, but we've got our hands full with the two cats.

Spent our day off today taking a shelter guy out for an extended hike. This is Morty. He’s an excitable but friendly and well-behaved pup.

I absolutely respect that and have certainly enjoyed lazy afternoons at the ballpark, I'm just wired differently I think. there needs to be an unspoken dark promise built into the structure of the sport to please me.

it's severe, but I think they're onto something.

I watched a lot of death match wrestling in the '90s. not sure if that helps trace anything for you, but figured I'd offer it up just in case.

this is not a quality I am proud of, but it is a quality I nonetheless possess.

I wish I could partake in baseball fever. I just can't get excited about the sport. it's too regular. I need there to be valid arguments for banning any sport I enjoy. if it's not bloodsport, it needs to live next door to bloodsport. call me when baseball elicits more grave scientific studies.

I'm not sure why that necessarily has to be a misread.

me on halloween when your house has king size candy bars

Gotta let 'em out sometime. Maybe...tomorrow...

"Now I live in Bobby Orr's house...heh...heh...heh..."

The Gazebo heist. Dave Foley’s old man with an army of vicious monkeys. Bruce’s Fuck the Bank monologue. Bruce introducing his teenage son to manhood by watching him get pathetically drunk. Scott gets picked up by a guy with a vampire fetish. Love and Sausages.

It's horror month over on the Watchcast, AKA The Greatest Month.

The Superstation Has Fallen

some real “we dug coal together” type stuff from the goddamn Wile E. Coyote movie

not me legit tearing up at the end of Coyote vs. Acme