Sapphics are like "women... so beautiful... so brilliant... each one a work of art. every time I see a woman I must tie myself to the mast like Odysseus so I do not fall on the floor and kiss her feet" and then straight women are like "the thing about men is that some of them deserve to live. maybe"

Today, remember that you are someone's bitch eating crackers, and eat them with vigor and gusto

If you're in the Denver area, come see me read with Rachel and a bunch of other awesome people on Thursday!

Hi, Colorado! Got your ballots yet? Hell yeah! Vote no on Prop 134 and 135! Do not give anti-trans fascists an inch of ground!

What if Pennywise was just a fun dude who wanted to entertain children! What if Leatherface was just shy! WHAT IF YOU WORKED IN A DIFFERENT GENRE, SIR

I hate themmm I lived in Tucson for five years and I swear the sound of cicadas makes the heat worse

We do bones in a gay way, motherfucker

seeing a cicada: ooh cool bug hearing a cicada: TOWARD THEE I ROLL, THOU ALL-DESTROYING BUT UNCONQUERING SCREECH

cicadas: fascinating and even beautiful when I don't have to hear them

I don't believe in guilt by association. Abusers can be incredibly skilled at cultivating friends and defenders. But when a dude texts you (Paul Bettany) his rape and murder fantasies and you (Paul Bettany) respond with "haha yeah totally," you're (Paul Bettany is) an enabling trash fuck.

Do people not know/remember that Paul Bettany was texting with Johnny Depp about how funny it would be to rape and kill Amber Heard? Every time I see someone post about him like he's a fun cool guy to be parasocial with I feel like I've stepped in something slimy.

See, like, last night I dreamed I was stranded in Winter Park trying to find a bus home, but it didn't leave until the next day, so I had to get a hotel for the night, and I ended up in a haunted house with all kinds of weird secret passages and ladders. Leave me alone I'm trying to sleep!

I really want to go to sleep but I'm not looking forward to dreaming. I don't have nightmares or anything it just feels like a lot of work. All those things and scenarios

It's fun to think about how much he got paid for this!

"what if Carrie was happy and curious and kind" that's Matilda. You don't need to make Matilda. We have Matilda at home.

I’m so sorry it was a boner joke that gave me this idea, but why the hell isn’t the new Carrie trans? The bullying, the religious trauma, the sexual repression, the body dysmorphia… It would be perfect! And timely! And it would actually justify doing yet another remake!

I was warned about Flanagan's Hill House and I watched it anyway. Never again.

"Lindsay you're talking a lot of shit about a TV show you haven't even seen" okay but consider: I want to talk shit, because it sounds dumb. but I don't want to watch it. because guess why

I'm gonna write a Carrie retelling where she kills even way more people. Bitch.

Oh, someone on the Internet doesn't like me? Okay, well, Leslie at the library likes me. Who are you gonna trust, some guy online or THE LITERAL PILLAR OF THE COMMUNITY? Does that guy provide enriching after-school activities for the neighborhood youth???