Look, I was late to the Amol Rajan party on here tonight, so I apologise for the past half hour. I've got it out of my system now.

Amol Rajan has a special 'Um Bongo Tier' to his fan club for kids. He takes all their pocket money every month and they get entered into a lottery for a spot on University Challenge in around 15 years time.

Going to ask the Government to proscribe anyone who supports the Amol Rajan Piña Colada Tier.

I've just joined the '25 year old Macallan and a loaded Smith & Wesson' Tier of the Amol Rajan Fan Club.

Surprised, and somewhat disappointed, that there's no Amol Rajan 'Beveragino Tier' to his club membership.

You just KNOW Amol Rajan was gutted to have missed out on the 'House of Games' gig, and the chance to get his face on every piece of prize tat going.

£29.99 a month on the off chance he'll dedicate a use of the word 'Repêchage' to you.

I've been out all evening and just back checking BlueSky, and WAIT. WHAT? You can PAY to be Amol Rajan's FRIEND? I fear the wait time on this 111 call I'm on for a suspected ruptured lung having wheezed with hysterical laughter for the past 10 minutes straight may be critical.

The very fact that Farage frequently uses the word 'banter' in regular conversation and addressing his masses should be reason enough to drop the word altogether from everyday use. It is nothing more than the modern, 'acceptable', word for bullying.

Good news for Mike Read's broadcasting career.

I hear David Walliams might be finding religion next week.

I genuinely saw this and thought “we’ve really moved a long way from slogans like ‘live, laugh, love’”

liberté. égalité. dragonballe zeé.

Tiny, ancient Asian woman just sat next to me on the tube and asked if I knew the days of the week in Spanish. We looked them up on my phone and tried to learn them together between Highbury and Islington and King's Cross. London is brilliant.

Not keen on Mike Oldfield's new album if I'm honest.

Remembrance Bird Boxes, lads. 1 Tit = 1 Respect.

For a man who is probably shitting himself at the moment, at least he's adopting the correct posture for it.

Roses are red, Violets are a flower...