too late for sure. i feel like as long as you’ve got a dude on second there’s almost no such thing as too early

it's fine if other people like things that you don't

I’m ok. Make no mistake: this is an attempt to target political enemies and weaponize federal law enforcement. For ten years, Trump has targeted me with baseless lies and smear campaigns. This is just the latest escalation in his campaign of political intimidation. I will not be silenced.

i want to play in the world series RIGHT NOW. no development, no career, no nlcs, none of that crap

i cannot find the words for this

in 2027 we're going to bring back "yelling at people because they won't follow you." we last did this 15 years ago on twitter but it's going to be even cooler now that we are all around 40 years old

sorry i haven't been posting much today. the data center that generates my posts has been destroyed

sardines. mid or top tier sardines are delicious but cheap sardines have devastated the reputation of the entire sardines community

this has gotta be the least contested two-point conversion i've ever seen in my life

it looks like the little brown jug will be headed back to starkville if dabo swinney and his boys keep ripping off chunk plays down in the swamp

NOBODY MOVE you'll scare it

operator: 911, please state the nature of your emergency me: hey. why was liberty biberty beheaded operator: he constructed the forbidden fractal me: i don't know what that means operator: some 300 light-years from earth, there exists what you might describe as a "palace of time." the me: nevermind

if you hold the upper left button for 30 seconds it will use the display's available lcd fields to play out an episode of mash

if you wear a casio watch, the only way to set an alarm is to give it to a two-year-old and let them play with it. the only way to turn the alarm off is to bump your wrist on something eight weeks later. there is no other way to turn the alarm on or off

This sweet, gentle Brooklyn boy needs a new home. Lili is about 8 years old, and far as anyone can tell is a friend to all. Please reply or dm me if you have a lead.

looks like the cowboys defense is going to make the top 100 list for yet another year