Big surprise I love making fake headlines. 🤣

Holy shit I'm totally going to use this against my son.

Watch out now, she's got her salad comb in the air, ready to strike.

Do not let these guys plan your vacation to Paris because you will be very disappointed when you end up in Texas.

So if I never finish it, I won't ever die? Thanks for the heads up!

56 minutes on hold and I'm beginning to wonder if this is a social experiment rather than a help line.

Thank you for your patience. You are next in line. I've been on hold for 40 minutes, I have no patience at this moment.

Alex wants a religious tattoo and objects to the "white, blonde" tattoo artist that couldn't possibly do it justice.

The whole thing is so bizarre. Why would you drive all the way into Brooklyn instead of like calling about it first? I call my local Trader Joe's if there is something specific I want before driving over there.

Try it when it's 90% black. 🤣

If a tree loses too many branches, it's a sign of rot and disease. Our tree of democracy is dying.

Signs I know my son isn't listening to me: 1. I'm talking. End of list.

Sounds like every other Trump project where contractors get stiffed.

But his mom thinks he's cool.

That's what you get with the Reality Show President. Everything is done for a 30 second video clip to misrepresent the truth.

Or Trump chopping down a tree saying "I cannot tell a truth"

So now we have originalism cutting down trees as well as burning down the basic tenets of democracy. Awesome.

Historic nature of a golf course?

Didn't we do a whole month of influential books? I can't be expected to keep remembering stuff at my advanced age.