I’m tempted to do it anyway, Halloween names are one of my few remaining joys🥲

What do you call a group of chefs? A heard.

I brought my girlfriend home to meet my parents but she was wearing cleats, shinguards, and gloves. My parents said: “congratulations, she seems like a keeper”

A praying mantis walks into a bar. The bartender says, “sorry, we don’t serve insects.” The praying mantis says, “that’s ok, I’ll just take a Miller Lite.”

And don’t forget to constantly lie about how many people you’ve given jobs💚🥲

Today in ai failscape, Amazon released a new “about you” feature by letting loose their ai on your spending record (there was no opt in/out). When I looked at mine it said that due to my spending habits I have a dog… so i thought, ok it’s confused my rabbit purchases with dog purchases?

Thinking about fucking around with my mental health this weekend and listening to Werner Herzog’s memoir

*Anthropic releases a dozen coked up squirrel monkeys into times square* “Wow, look at them act on their own!!”

Police also charged her with making a false report, causing her life to spiral downward & her housing in a program for former foster kids to be jeopardized. When the rapist was caught, in another state, he admitted to raping nearly 30 women, & relying the MO of the police to help get away with it.

In case you don’t want to read it: young woman reported a rape at knifepoint, police did what the always do & disbelieved her—esp. since she was a former foster kid & one of her truly vile foster mothers anonymously called police to say she was “a liar”—then that man went on to rape many more women.

Kwaidan is on HBO Max. If you haven't seen it, don't be alarmed by the 3 hr running time. It earns every minute. Slow and quiet but hypnotic because the visual, sonic, and narrative negative space create tension. This seems paradoxical if you prioritize "fast" movies.

working as intended🫠

In a reasonable world, her vile words would not have had so much weight, but unfortunately we live in this one.

I know there’s a ton of institutional blame here, but there should be a special place in hell for that foster mother who called the police, asked for anonymity, and told them that she thought her former foster daughter was a liar.

Yeah but they also aren’t good at helping find the culprits in those cases either, and practically speaking never do—the victims of the crime just file a police report as required for their insurance🙃

The two women police who were responsible for arresting the rapist are portrayed is going above and beyond—however, they were simply doing their jobs adequately. There were, ofc, no ramifications for the police who brow beat a victim into recanting her statement. This is why people don’t report.

Police also charged her with making a false report, causing her life to spiral downward & her housing in a program for former foster kids to be jeopardized. When the rapist was caught, in another state, he admitted to raping nearly 30 women, & relying the MO of the police to help get away with it.

In case you don’t want to read it: young woman reported a rape at knifepoint, police did what the always do & disbelieved her—esp. since she was a former foster kid & one of her truly vile foster mothers anonymously called police to say she was “a liar”—then that man went on to rape many more women.