Putin: "I'm giving Iran military intelligence so they can target U.S. ships. Is that okay with you, bitch?"

The Republican Party is literally doubling down on rapists.

BELOW: If Richie Rich grew up to be an elderly pedophile.

Lies used to fly out of Donald Trump's mouth like shrapnel from a shit grenade. Now they dribble out like diarrhea from a sick dog's ass.

If you are more upset about gender-neutral restrooms than you are about seven men raping an incapacitated woman, the Republican Party may be right for you.

BREAKING: Nobel Committee gives peace prize to everyone who is not Donald Trump.

SHOWN: Very stable genius who has been trying unsuccessfully for two years to paint a pool.

1. It's called Artificial Intelligence. 2. You bet your diaper-wrapped ass I'm your enemy.

He wasn't joking. He wasn't misquoted. He wasn't being sarcastic. He said it. He meant it. He said it again.

Ted Cruz is traveling to a campaign event with Donald Trump on Air Force One, which answers the question, "What would be worse than traveling to a campaign event with Donald Trump on Air Force One?"

BELOW: Donald Trump considers bombing the Nobel Committee if they don't give him a peace prize this year.

Donald Trump: "Mumble bumble grumble. Fricken fracken flurgen flurgen flibbity flib jibbit jabba jibba. Eep ipp opp ork ick ock dippety dip dip. Urrrk braaap bluuuuurp mrrrrph drrrph eeeee ooooo eeeee ooooo. Bleeeaaaarghugh." MAGA: "Four more years! Four more years!"

RELATIONSHIP ADVICE: Find someone who will defend you with the same ferocity that Megyn Kelly defends rapists.

BELOW: Donald Trump relives his college days by reading the Cornell 7's group chats.

"[Iran] can take out a city, let them take out Los Angeles, let them take out San Diego. This is a very small price to pay." There is nothing more temporary than the new low Donald Trump reaches every day.

Dennis Hastert, former Speaker of the House, is dead at 84. Even now it's hard to believe a pedophile could rise so high in our government. (Oops, wrong photo.)

If you are dumb enough to vote Republican because you think Donald Trump is going to give you $5000 you were already dumb enough to vote Republican.

The Republican Party went from Abraham Lincoln to Donald Trump. No wonder they don't believe in evolution.

Normalize ruining rapists' lives.

Donald Trump's 2026 midterm strategy can be best summarized as "lie loudly to stupid people."