He's lucky his supporters are the stupidest motherfuckers who ever drew breath or he'd be in trouble

Trump making campaign promises is so funny. You control all 3 branches of government, my guy! You can do anything you want!

he looks like the reason the library had to block certain websites

he looks like he owns a painting in his attic that's handsome

he looks like he hasn't had a comfortable bowel movement in decades

he looks like he has detailed opinions on the various Gor novels

he looks like he's stolen Leon from multiple Blockbusters

he looks like he'll tell you unprompted the exact difference between a pedophile and an ephebophile

he looks like he knows the age of consent in every state

*Richard Kind voice*: He's in the ORDER of the GASH! A demon to some! An angel to others!

he looks like he always smells of bacon grease

he looks like every police sketch of a subway masturbator

he looks like he doesn't own a single pair of pants that isn't wet

he looks like he's been banned from multiple arcades

he looks like a hot pocket wished to be a pervert

he looks like where scabies go to die

he looks like he tries to pay pole dancers in scratchers

Oh my god I watched that movie way too much as a kid

I don't mind the idea that Michael has somehow given himself superpowers -- hell, three of my books are basically that -- but if that's the case I don't need his attackers to be incompetent. It's scarier if they aren't

I like Halloween Kills more than most and even I find the complete incompetence of the Haddonfieldians to be ridiculous