Stood really close to him at Oxford train station once, it was awful

Guys, meet Pip. She’s a dog, and very cool.

It’s possible

Sometimes people see what they want to see

Damn right

No no this time it’s entirely consensual.

They are about to enter a brave new world

He’s real, my eyes have seen the glory

GETTING A DOG TOMORROW

There's a clip which would likely prove impossible to find where two wrestlers are having a match, and one of them tackles the other, and the guy getting hit very subtly slips his shoes half-off just before he gets flattened so they go flying into the crowd, it's amazing

Had a pal years ago who, as a child, got kicked by a horse when on a caravanning holiday. His recollection was literally being stood behind the horse, and then suddenly he was looking down on the roof of his caravan, then nothing. His shoes very much came off.

My watch continues

Why why why can I not just scroll past Ronaldo interview articles where he just makes himself sound like a tit, it's an absolute sickness, my one true vice

Noted

Hopefully the blood comes out

Spurs and Man Utd look so sad, someone build them a ‘Goodbye Lenin’ style false reality to live in where you dress Sunday league players as premier league teams and let spurs and Man Utd wallop them until they’re not rubbish

I am once again in the bath where Tottenham Hotspur cannot hurt meeeee

I stand-in captained this side today and let me tell you there’s no feeling quite like watching two of your players headbutt each other into hospitalisation after five minutes