Good news folks! I’ve found e found out how to fix global warming…and you don’t even need to get out of bed.

If I downed that much milk I’d be up all night.

Following the recent developments in government, the Archbishop of York’s office at Bishopthorpe is to be renamed Lambeth Palace North.

Who knew that you could get oysters in Clacton?

Is it credible for James Orr to remain an Associate Professor in the Faculty of Divinity at Cambridge?

By the end of tomorrow Andy Burnham will have been Prime Minister for longer than Liz Truss.

What I don’t understand is, if you thought that Professor Jason Arday’s academic work was questionable, the entire academic process is set up to enable you to critique it. That’s the way academia works. You don’t hound the people you disagree with, you dispute with them.

Be kind to people today.

If you look East from 10 o’clock tonight you may just see the total eclipse of Nigel Farage.

Nigel Farage. Has bin.

Your recent posts have included two shovels, an axe and a scythe. Is everything alright at home, Jay?

Have you had an injury at work that wasn’t your fault? Remember, where there’s blame there’s a claim.

13th August, Clacton Town Hall. The Returning Officer announces that Count Binface has beaten Nigel Farage and is the new MP for Clacton. Binface removes his bin head to reveal a smiling Keir Starmer.

So basically, the plot of The Odyssey is: He’s coming home He’s coming home He’s coming…. [Long pause] Odysseus is coming home.

The first one you can drink straight from the can. The second one has to be diluted with water.

If (as I hope) Count Binface becomes an MP, will he have to renounce his title?

Today marks an important day in the rehabilitation of the name Andrew.

Paging Danny Boyle and @frankcottrellboyce.bsky.social.

I worked that out when I tried to email you yesterday!

Surely there’s bylaw that could be invoked? It’s so disrespectful.