he’s just built different

Cerberus’s skeleton does NOT want to go for a walk

Omg I bitch about 6 and 7 so much

sweetie — Jfc — I’m so sorry for all of it

everyone should

wtf

Those leaves aren’t gonna just blow themselves around…unless, ya know, there’s a windy autumn day.

Cerberus’s skeleton does NOT want to go for a walk

Just finished my strongly worded letter to Gatorade over their interpretation of the word "fierce."

(trying on new glasses) oh no the world is even clearer now

Interviewer: Can you explain this gap in your resume? Frodo Baggins: *clears throat and takes a deep breath*

Putting up admission signs for my annual Haunted Man’s Head

BIRD FACT: cardinals often engage in prolonged violent fights with their own reflections and you know what little guys, I feel that

one time this car drove by me and the angle of it made it look like a dog was driving and i still think about that a lot

I ran the numbers, and it turns out that your milkshake brings approximately 73.24% of the boys to the yard. Still, a significant percentage. 

Thank you, Warren!

❤️❤️❤️

Make it happen!

Time to get that sweet-ass leaf-blower action. Gotta move those little carcasses around from one area to another. Be sure to pollute with both noise and gasoline. Fuel’s gotta stink something fierce, too.

Hey, man. The leaves. They fell off your tree. They're incredibly biodegradable, and will be gone by the end of winter. So you better hurry up and rake them into plastic bags.