"I Noticed That You Mentioned Silent Films So I Wanted to Come Over and Explain a Film I am Sure You Have Never Seen Called METROPOLIS" by Berthold Woltze

Youngstown

(Douglas had a bath and trim yesterday and is VERY angry with me about it still. Eva goes absolutely crackers for him when he is all gussied up.)

Interviewer: can you explain this gap in your resume? Early film theorist: "These two selves exist asymptotically relative to each other and represent both an idealized fiction that has never existed and a mundane present that we are all too painfully aware of"

Interviewer: can you explain this gap in your resume? Early film archivist: "The surviving nitrate print had considerable mildew and decay and we reassembled continuity using German censorship records and still photos."

These two 🥰

We have all known a couple like this

But who cares about firsts? The real appeal of A VITAGRAPH ROMANCE is seeing that Vitagraph lot in use! Look at the cameras! Look at the stars! I am such a sucker for a behind-the-scenes movie!

A VIRAGRAPH ROMANCE is sometimes credited as the first movie with cameos but Max Linder was hired onscreen by Charles Pathe himself in MAX'S FIRST JOB two years earlier.

The film features cameos from Vitagraph found J Stuart Blackton and his business partners as themselves.

It's... certainly a movie! I actually forget why I went, it was with a group.

Oh definitely

But stab a whole queen and nary a peep!

Yeah, assassinations, bombings and arson galore. Austria just had to be pissy little babies about it

Mary Poppins the Movie could use a few bombings, though.

"They weren't *really* terrorists! They had a good point and it was only a few bombings!" is a hilarious take to me. Terrorism is a strategy (which, to be clear, I do not support), it has nothing to do with whether or not they really had grievances.

Suffragettes were initially satirized as sexless or mannish and definitely unattractive but Mid-Century made them cuddly. "Look at those sweet, silly women in their becoming hats! They think they want rights!"

I continue to pitch my "Mary Poppins remake but Mrs. Banks is a terrorist suffragette" remake to Disney in vain

There are a few in private collections, I know, but not Ivanhoe, alas

Do I follow awards shows? No! Do I follow modern films? Also no! But I absolutely love a desperate awards show campaign. That is my sportsball. And it has to be the perfect combo of Big Budget + Unexpected Challenges + Silly Overcompensation I only get one of these every two or three years.