We’re back tonight at 11:02pm on HBO! Then we’re off next week! Which is definitely because of that thing you did. Yes, YOU! The one who’s thinking “There’s no way a TV show knows about the really bad thing I did and is going off the air as some weird punishment for it?” Well we do! And we are.

Thank you to Rob Riggle, Adam DeVine, Anders Holm, Eugene Cordero, Mark Proksch, Courtney Taylor, Vic Michaelis, Mike Mitchell, and the voice of Jon Hamm for helping us show the less glamorous side of the Secret Service. You guys did the most with the absolute least!

This week’s main story is about the Secret Service, why they’ve had so many close calls in recent years, and why some are privately calling 2028 “Armageddon.” Which we’re sure is just an arbitrary code name and nothing to worry about. Link to full segment in bio!

We’ve got a new show tonight at 11pm on HBO! Airing right after a new episode of Youth! The thoughtful, prescient, laugh-out-loud funny show about a divorcee in her 50’s, navigating family and relationships imperfectly – sure – but honestly. Then there will be 40 minutes of whatever it is we do!

This week’s main story is about the upcoming presidential election in Brazil, how a new member of the Bolsonaro family could wind up in power, and why we should all hope the people of Brazil avoid – to borrow a phrase – “same shit, new toilet.”

We’ve got a new episode tonight at 11pm on HBO! Airing right after a new episode of Youth! Yup, John and youth. Youth and John. Two things that go together like peanut butter and…a guy who looks like he’s allergic to peanut butter.

With Luigi Mangione’s upcoming sentencing, this week’s main story is about not just UnitedHealthcare’s now infamous denials of coverage, but also how their parent company – UnitedHealth Group – touches almost every aspect of our healthcare system. Link to full segment in bio.

We’re back tonight at 11pm! After nearly a month off! You know what that means!! John’s been in the studio, alone, for several long weeks, waiting for his crew and audience to return. “But we saw him at the Emmys!” NO YOU DIDN’T! That was a paid impersonator WITH A BEARD. Open your god damn eyes.

This week’s main story is about why it seems like every company asks customers to sign up for a subscription, how those subscriptions can be intentionally difficult to get out of, and – of course – what Jeremy Renner might want to consider naming his next album.

We’re back with a new show tonight at 11pm on HBO! Yup, perfectly on time, two weeks in a row! History books WILL remember John for starting the “punctual bitch” movement. On account of his remarkable timeliness, of course, and also because of his bitchy little glasses.

This week’s main story is about the push to give rights to fetuses, where things could be headed next, and some tips for how to make sure your kid doesn’t turn out too cool.

We’ve got a new episode tonight at 11pm on HBO! That’s right, we’re back on our punctual grind! We wake up early. We never hit snooze. We leave ourselves 15 mins of travel time on top of whatever Google Maps suggests, just in case. THIS is the new us. Until at least next week.

This week’s main story is about how the Department of Justice has changed since Trump took office for his second term, how their shifting priorities could impact us all, and why it’s so easy to indict a ham sandwich.

We’re back with a new episode tonight at 11pm on @HBOMax/11:30pm on @HBO! Why is there a time difference between streaming and linear platforms, you ask? Well, linear TV contains an interesting bit of technology called “dragon finale rerun.”