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@kcookandcatsco.bsky.socialOct 18, 2026, 5:58 PM

Goddamn... 🤯

I wish I were kidding, but the final shot of #TheFugitive2 AKA #USMarshals is the Marshals joking about toasting their dead-as-shit coworker with milk, then piling into A VAN and driving off. It... it seems like a joke.

It's WILDLY underwhelming as an ending 😆

#FilmSky 🎥 #MovieSky 🎞️

Hahahahah remember that kid that we allegedly loved who got killed? Man, what a job we have. Let's all pile into a van and go get drunk. That's how we're ending this movie.Okay, boss! Sounds like a good film ending to me! Here we go!Dude, this made me GUFFAW. It's so anticlimactic and, honestly, pitiful. They're all climbing into a van? Take separate cabs! Christ! You're all well-compensated government employees. They're all just crammed in there with their knees around their fucking ears, headed to some shitty bar, omg. Too good.It's this guy's fault!
@kcookandcatsco.bsky.socialOct 18, 2026, 5:49 PM

Mark excuses himself to go see his gf or whatever (who cares) & then Sam just STARES. It's wild. It goes on for a bit, too, and he doesn't emote or do ANYTHING.

Just a dead flat stare. I wonder if TLJ was over it by then. He seems tired and uncommitted for LONG stretches

#FilmSky 🎥 #TheFugitive2 🧵

He's already staring at Mark's gf (that's Irène Jacob, playing Marie Bineaux, enormously forgettable non-character in this film), and just... keeps staring. Doesn't do anything. In my headcanon, Tommy Lee Jones is, like, "Listen, I'll stand on the blue tape and look in the direction you're telling me, but I'm not giving you ANYTHING else..."Equal parts hilarious and disconcerting...
@kcookandcatsco.bsky.socialOct 18, 2026, 5:18 PM

Reporter: "Deputy, do you have anything to add?"

Sam Gerard: "No." [walks off]

Well, why would you? It's only a #film someone wrote. Why should THE PROTAGONIST have something to say about all this? 😆

TLJ looks so bored and listless. This thing is stumbling to a finish.

#FilmSky 🎥 #TheFugitive2 🧵

This lady has soooooo much screentime, and we never needed to see her in the first place!"Deputy, do you have anything to add?""No." Puts his hand over the camera and walks off.Boo! Bad movie!
@kcookandcatsco.bsky.socialOct 18, 2026, 5:08 PM

This is an incredible [derogatory] getting-shot-face that RDJ makes (as DSS Special Agent John Royce) here. What a film 😆

#FilmSky 🎥 #TheFugitive2 🧵

Wow. Had to slow this down and get another look at it. It's really dumb.Wow. Had to slow this down and get another look at it. It's really dumb.Wow. Had to slow this down and get another look at it. It's really dumb. He makes that face alllll the way down to the couch.Wow. Had to slow this down and get another look at it. It's really dumb.
@kcookandcatsco.bsky.socialOct 18, 2026, 3:44 PM

Sincerely funny/great little moment (to cap a brutally-nonsensical, worthless, pointless-ass scene) after Royce shoots Mark in cold blood from 40 feet up, when he checks to the guys on either side of him, seeing if anyone's got something to say about it.

They don't 😆

#FilmSky 🎥 #TheFugitive2 🧵

Staring down at the guy he thinks he just killed (I don't know or honestly care how this ends), and then...He looks right (his left) to that group of guys standing right there, and gives them a look. They don't have anything to say.What about you? Nope, nothing from over here, either. Good! That's actually a funny, good moment I liked. I think that makes two, now, for the whole goddamned film.
@kcookandcatsco.bsky.socialOct 18, 2026, 3:38 PM

Truly, one of the dumbest things I've ever seen on #film 🤔

#U.S.Marshals is 'What If The Fugitive Was Jason Bourne?' The Movie, but Bourne *is* a fugitive in his own stories. This adds nothing new, and sullies the good name of all the The Fugitives which came before it.

#FilmSky 🎥 #TheFugitive2 🧵

This is a... grain silo fistfight, with two grown men scuttling across the ground like house spiders after a dropped handgun.A crowd has gathered. Why would Sam Gerard, an 85 year old veteran U.S. Marshal who mostly flies around on planes and tells other cops what to do, be able to competently fistfight a 30 year old black ops agent with years of training to do specifically that?Crowd has gathered. This is so offensively stupid.I haaaate this movie. And sequels! If i were in charge, I'd outlaw sequels and IP.
@kcookandcatsco.bsky.socialOct 18, 2026, 3:19 PM

Here we go! 🤯

Sam's just ripping through product at a pharmacy, chasing down some lead about medication Mark was using on his stakeout.

Sam just destroys this guy's merchandise.

#U.S.Marshals is Oops! All Bad Guys! They just forgot to put a hero in this #film 🤦‍♀️

#FilmSky 🎥 #TheFugitive2 🧵

Why the fuck would his be how he goes about it? He's committing crimes. Probably nobody will punish him or hold him accountable, but he leaves a mess this clerk has to deal with, and they definitely can't sell that now. WTF?!You didn't have to write it this way! They went out of their way to make him a jerk who doesn't give a shit about other peopleBooooooo this sucks One of the worst follow-ups I've ever seen, made all the worse bc of all the original parts that are here, cosigning on this artistic fraud.
@kcookandcatsco.bsky.socialOct 18, 2026, 3:03 PM

We're out of order, but I couldn't let this go (& I was wondering if it was actually the end of the sequence; it is):

Mark executes a lame-as-fuck twist on the Dam Fall from #TheFugitive, but it only gets him, like, 100ft away, on a train.

Keep chasing him, maybe?! 🤯

#FilmSky 🎥 #TheFugitive2 🧵

He even sits down, like, 'Yeah, I did that. This chase is over for now. Bitch." Why WOULD it be? That train is going maybe 35 miles an hour (maybe), literally on rails, to the next station and all the stations after it. Send a black and white to the next two stops? Like, why is THIS the end of the chase?!You can kind of tell from the cinematography that this is signaling Mark is getting away. WHY, though?! It was impressive, I suppose, to get from the rooftop to the roof of the moving train, but it's not that good of a getaway. He's very visible, he's headed on a fixed path at a constant rate of speed. It's like an algebra problem. You can figure out where he's going to be and keep chasing him.Maybe have a helicopter follow the train? We've seen three already. We know they've got helicopters for days. Why doesn't one follow behind the train and see if he just keeps sitting criss-cross-applesauce on the top of it to the next station?Photo, no description
@kcookandcatsco.bsky.socialOct 18, 2026, 2:13 AM

Wayyyyy more of this movie than you remember is Robert Downey, Jr. aura farming, doing shit like posing with a gun in the forest 😑

He doesn't look like a commando. He looks like a kid playing pretend in the woods behind his house 😆

Why's this in a The Fugitive movie?!

#FilmSky 🎥 #TheFugitive2 🧵

This is super dumb. Kinda can't get past this, really.Lol, what a pose, too, look at his ass all stuck out. He's doing the bend and snap from Legally Blonde, just with a nickel-plated handgun in one hand, and in the woods.Yeahhhhh, work it, girl! You show that fugitive! Rawr! Fierce!
@kcookandcatsco.bsky.socialOct 17, 2026, 10:53 PM

Sam Gerard is, in theory, speaking glibly (as he does) about the state of the investigation, but he might as well be speaking metatextually about the film, itself.

He's not having any fun. I'm not having any fun. This is no fun. Why'd we all do this? 🤔

#FilmSky 🎥 #TheFugitive2 🧵

"I'm not having any fun here!" That's not entirely true. He seemed to think it was fun to call RDJ a 'sissy' a second ago, lol."You know how cranky I get when I don't have any fun..." Yeah! It's happening to me, too!Yeah, my thoughts exactly. What a calamitous goatfuck this Fugitive sequel is. Jeeeeeeeesus.
@kcookandcatsco.bsky.socialOct 17, 2026, 10:48 PM

The camera move here underscores how facile & inept the script is, just drawing a huge circle in highlighter around what a dumb moment this is:

"... we've got a fugitive."

OMG HE SAID THE THING, THE NAME OF THE THING THAT HE'S IN!

This movie is WILDLY bad, y'all 😆

#FilmSky 🎥 #TheFugitive2 🧵

"No, no, the river didn't get this guy...""If you can't find him dead someplace,""He's loose. He's runnin' folks... omg are we about to do another The Fugitive? Folks, I think we are. I think we might be doing another The Fugitive." Actual dialogue."We've got a The Fugitive 2."
@kcookandcatsco.bsky.socialOct 17, 2026, 6:34 PM

Omg, still dying laughing at this plane crash. This is wild, and worth watching just on its own.

In the middle, one of the cops has a heart attack (hilarious, and kinda played for laughs, I think). We even cut to him still clutching his chest as the plane rolls 🤣

#FilmSky 🎥 #ACAB #TheFugitive2 🧵

Lol, so funny. And I don't think it's meant to heighten tension. I think this is a laugh moment. We're just zeroed in on his suffering, grabbing his chest like an idiot, plus I think he might just drown in the water? Can't remember what happens to him, but he just gets abused and mocked throughout this sequence, and you know I love that.Ruh roh! That's bad for airplanes, I think!It's like Inception, except infinitely worse in every way.I'm not even doing it justice. They cut back to him, like, four or five separate times, each time doing a little bit worse, lolol. It's fucking hysterical. By the time they roll him and he goes limp, I am howling.
@kcookandcatsco.bsky.socialOct 17, 2026, 6:23 PM

Och, this is cartoon-airplane city, mates 😆

It was the era for it. #TheFugitive2 is 1998, and Air Force One (which, nfn, had Harrison Ford, whom this movie could've used, in it) was 1997.

Everyone thought, "We can do planes now!" and they could NOT do planes then 🙂‍↔️

#FilmSky 🎥 #TheFugitive2 🧵

Can you tell how shitty this looks? You might have to see it in motion. I feel like I'm playing Microsoft Flight Simulator, but on the low, shitty settings.Lol! There's no fucking texture to that fuselage WHATSOEVER! That's the slickest, smoothest, glossiest fucking thing anyone's ever put onscreen. They're like "Well, you won't be able to tell in the dark," but you can tell!Christ, look at that reflection off the cockpit and nose. I'd be disappointed if a PlayStation game looked like this lol.
@kcookandcatsco.bsky.socialOct 17, 2026, 6:15 PM

Wow! This is such bullshit. WHO CARES?!

I'm realizing watching this exchange between Sam & his boss that this movie is about the wrong character(s).

Also, Sam's evidently dating a 20-yr-younger TV actress in a tiny, black dress. Cool? Seems normal for a guy his age... 😑

#FilmSky 🎥 #TheFugitive2

OH MY GOD, nobody cares. Nobody cares about Sam Gerard, not unless he's chasing someone compelling, but this movie isn't even trying to do that. Gerard is the MAIN CHARACTER so we're now meeting ancillary people in his life, and it's like, WHO FUCKING CARES?! He's a cop! He's not interesting unless he's chasing someone who is interesting, and he's providing conflict and tension. This is nothing!In his defense, Tommy Lee Jones does look utterly bored to be there.I guess I kind of assumed Sam Gerard was married? And perhaps once was. Not to this lady, though. She's only been old enough to marry for, like, twelve minutes. It's a TERRIBLE look for Sam Gerard, lol. I wonder if TLJ perceived it that way and piped up at all, like, "Hey, do we think maybe my throwaway date that doesn't matter to the plot at all should be maybe my age or older than my kids?" I doubt it. I bet he thought it made him look like a stud.
@kcookandcatsco.bsky.socialOct 17, 2026, 6:15 PM

HOO, BOY! I had forgotten how this movie opened...

This is bleak. It tells you everything you need to know right up front about how bullshit this whole endeavor is going to be. In that sense, it's an honest, fair play.

And only in that sense 🤦‍♀️

#FilmSky 🎥 #USMarshals #TheFugitive2 #MovieSky 🎞️

OOF! What a precipitous fall off a cliff, from the denoument of The Fugitive to Sam Gerard in a chicken costume. BLURGH!Yeah, we get what's going on. We did this in the last film, only it made sense in that one, and wasn't a huge, ridiculous joke that compromises the characters. Good God, Lemon...DERP! God, it's so embarrassing... No way is that actually Tommy Lee Jones in the costume for this shot, either. You can't see his face; I don't believe it's him.Now that's for sure Tommy Lee Jones. No way around it. They did get renowned, once-in-a-generation talent, Thomas Leeward Joneseth, into a big, doofy chicken costume. I HATE IT!