"Put that down!" said the man to his wife.
"Knives are weapons! A threat to my life!"
"Calm your jets, my dear Dennis,"
She said. "It's no menace:
It's dull cuz you wrecked my fav knife."

#vss365 #Calm #SmallPoemSunday #LimerickSunday #Limericks #Humor #Humour #Poetry #MicroPoetry #LightVerse #Poem

With Thanksgiving soon to arrive
A disguise was required to survive
Skeleton or bat
Orange turd or black cat
Tom's plan was to stay alive!

Turkey Tom's #LimerickSunday adventures by @jengelmattern.bsky.social, @booksbycindy.bsky.social, and me

This art-loving cat sits and stares
At this farm scene in spring without cares.
Does he think it is nice?
Is he looking for mice,
Or surveying techniques to compare?
#limerick #limericksunday

Precious freedom, alas, is at stake!
Dire jeopardy! Each day we wake
To more headlines that scare us,
As Trump seems to dare us
To dodge each malevolent #quake.

#Vss365 #Quake #LimerickSunday #Limericks #Poetry #News #MicroPoetry #Poems #Resist #Trump #MAGA #USPOL #USPolitics #Politics #Freedom

"I abhor cousin Stewy, it's true.
But don't judge me for feuding with Stu:
Yes I #harbor a grudge,
And I'm NOT gonna budge
Cuz he 'borrowed' and wrecked my canoe."

#vss365 #Harbor #LimerickSunday #Limerick #Limericks #Rhyme #Humor #Humour #Poetry #MicroPoetry #LightVerse #Poems #SmallPoemSunday

there was an old lady from denver
who thought should would always remember
the mountains the hills
the snowpack the the thrills
but it turns out she just loved
a good bender

#limerick #limericksunday

Tom struggled to keep up with raking
The carpet of leaves left him quaking
His piles flew around
And covered the ground
On the plus side, his feathers weren't baking

Turkey Tom's #LimerickSunday adventures by @jengelmattern.bsky.social, @booksbycindy.bsky.social, and me

Good morning!
I wonder why “mum” is the word.
Why not “daisy” or “locust” or “curd”?
To be mum’s to be quiet,
But this colorful riot
Shouts loudly enough to be heard!
#limerick #limericksunday

An old woman who'd filed for divorce
From a golfer, who talked himself hoarse,
Watched her longwinded spouse
Rant and endlessly grouse,
Then replied, "This is par for the course."

#DailyHaikuPrompt #Wind #Divorce #Golf #LimerickSunday #Limericks #Humor #Poetry #LightVerse #Poems #SmallPoemSunday

Happy Sunday!
The aliens point with surprise,
They were hardly believing their eyes!
Who is this tall guy?
He stands out in the sky,
So straight, so strong, and so wise.
#limerick #limericksunday

A talkative fellow who'll #jaw
About politics, science, and law,
Mostly has his facts wrong,
But starts arguments, long . . .
Which he "wins" via men made of straw.

#VssDaily #Jaw #LimerickSunday #Limerick #Limericks #Rhyme #Humor #Humour #Poetry #MicroPoetry #LightVerse #Verse #Poems #Arguments

I went shopping for something to eat.
With chicken and fish they’re replete.
They have plenty of peas,
And all manner of cheese,
But they really should beef up their meat.

#VssDaily #Meat #LimerickSunday #Limerick #Limericks #Rhyme #Humor #Humour #Poetry #MicroPoetry #LightVerse #Verse #Poems #Food

With long summer days on the wane
And Fall equinox here again
Tom joined turkeys trotting,
Placed first apple-bobbing
And ushered in long days of rain

Turkey Tom's #LimerickSunday adventures by @jengelmattern.bsky.social, @booksbycindy.bsky.social, and me

Happy Sunday!
A monkey, a cat, and a bear
Took naps in the tub without care.
Did they have pleasant dreams?
Is it all what it seems,
Or just why did the cat drag them there?
#limerick #limericksunday

The next night Tom vowed to amend,
his nighttime routine—buck the trend.
He grabbed a Fall cookbook
and gave it a long look. (OH, NO! TOM!)
In two months you're meeting your end!

#limerickSunday @jengelmattern.bsky.social

His eyeballs were swimmin'.
No sleep for poor Tom, I'm afraid.

The next night, Ol Tom smoked some weed,
so strong that he felt he'd been treed.
He heard some dogs barking,
Or was it cars parking?
It all left him fairly weak-kneed.

#LimerickSunday

The ohmmmm-ing sent Tom to new heights
His mind was enthralled with cool sights.
He thought he saw mummies.
But was it the gummies?
Or just low electrolytes?

He chugged down some grape Gatorade
Tried sleeping once more in the shade.
The liquids coursed through him...

#LimerickSunday

Turkey Tom took some gummies to bed
To improve sleep, but they messed with his head
His thoughts started whirring
And his speech started slurring
So he tried meditation instead

Turkey Tom's #LimerickSunday adventures by @jengelmattern.bsky.social, @booksbycindy.bsky.social, and me

Happy Sunday!
A hummingbird moth flies and flits,
It seldom, if ever, does sit.
To fend off predators,
It sports imitation.
A bird? No, an insect! Legit!
#limerick #limericksunday

A young man in a needlepoint class
Took it merely to meet a cute lass.
But the gals all ignored 'im.
So suff'ring from boredom,
He needled "the teach" and passed gas.

#vssdaily #Needle #Education #LimerickSunday #Limericks #Rhyme #Humor #Humour #Poetry #MicroPoetry #LightVerse #Poems #BlueskyPoets