“Could you sit with me? I don’t need advice or prayer. I just don’t want to be alone with this tonight.”

Words you can borrow.

I’ve been quieter here while building a Substack with free and paid content, plus a November webinar on grief without religious expectations.

More soon.
#griefwithoutapew

When “they’re with God” doesn’t comfort you, try:

“What would help me right now is hearing a memory of them.”

You don’t have to explain your beliefs to ask for that.

Tonight, write down one memory you want to keep.
Start: “I want to remember the time we…”

#GriefWithoutAPew #loss #grief #secular

You don’t need a church to make room for remembering.

Tonight, choose a song, photo, or recipe that reminds you of them.

Finish: “Today, I wish I could tell you ____.”

Do one ordinary thing you used to share.

No prayer required. No certainty about an afterlife.

#GriefWithoutAPew #secular #loss

“Let me know if you need anything.”

Sometimes I need help figuring out what to ask for, too.

Try:
“Can you listen without trying to fix this?”
“Could you bring dinner? I’m not up for company.”

Offering help? Name something you can do. Let them say yes or no.

#GriefWithoutAPew #griefsupport #loss

You can miss someone and still be angry with them.

Words you can use:
“I miss them. That doesn’t mean everything between us was okay.”

“I have good memories and painful ones. I need to talk about both.”

You don’t owe anyone a glowing tribute.

#GriefWithoutAPew #grief #loss #bereavement

My grandparents raised me; they were my parents. They still influence my life today.

Bereavement scholars call ongoing connections with the dead “continuing bonds.”¹

What’s something you still do because of someone who died?

¹ doi.org/10.4324/9781...

#grief #loss #bereavement #griefwithoutapew

Since my grandparents died, I’ve mostly grieved alone—caught between religious explanations & people who don’t want to hear about it.
“Safety in solitude” appears in bereavement research.¹
I recognize it. I still want connection.
#grief #bereavement #loss #griefwithoutapew
¹ doi.org/10.1177/2167...

After my grandparents died, I could feel conversations close around their names. Sometimes I just wanted to finish a story about them, but it felt like I sucked the air out of the room.
If there’s someone you still want to talk about, you can tell me about them here.

#GriefWithoutAPew #GriefSupport