Hachi machi, folks! All hands on deck.
"𝗢𝗸𝗹𝗮𝗵𝗼𝗺𝗮 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗯𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗿𝗱."
@joetedjerome.bsky.social
@joetedjerome.bsky.social@joetedjerome.bsky.socialA shark drops straight down (off the roof?) and swallows a girl whole. It's glorious.
@joetedjerome.bsky.social"The bikinis hold truth, mother! More truth than you've ever told me!"
I guess the human baddie DIDN'T get ate, then? The movie sure as shit implied that he did.
@joetedjerome.bsky.socialThe human villain (coz of course there's one) can control the Bikini Sharks (despite the title, there are several) with whistles and voice commands.
Until he can't, and he gets ate. I think the writer was purposely going for 'makes no sense'.
@joetedjerome.bsky.socialThe sharks are attracted to a certain brand of bikini, hence the title. If you're wearing one, they'll come up on land to get you like it's something they've always been able to do. They'll chase your car, hahaha!
@joetedjerome.bsky.socialThe first actress to get Bikini Sharked adjusts her sunglasses AFTER she gets chomped, hahaha! And the sharks have no problem operating on land, for some reason.
Off to a good start, then!
@joetedjerome.bsky.socialBikini Shark (2025)
Dir. EJ Marshall
Hey look, the Brits can make god-awful sharksploitation movies too! The LB reviews make this sound absolutely hilarious, so I gotta check it out.
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