Her experience made her practically indispensable. She did have a tendency to overstep the proper boundaries between a captain and a first officer.
Perhaps it was due to having spanked the captain several times when the captain was a pre-teen. #lookinmybriefs #haroldhardpod #shortstory #spaceopera

Captain Softcenter was fond of her First Officer, Nuna Sternbottom. The woman had served with Juzee for five years after having transferred over from a ship captained by Juzee’s sister. Sternbottom had been employed by the Softcenter family for over twenty years. #lookinmybriefs #haroldhardpod

Her tone was low and menacing. Harold, looking over his shoulder, blanched. Hooper girls were said to have huge and wicked sexual appetites.

“Captain, the confiscated merchandise has been stowed.”
“Well done, First.”
#lookinmybriefs #haroldhardpod #spaceopera #shortstory

They exchanged glances, shrugged, and grabbed Harold’s shoulders.
“You can’t do this,” he protested over his shoulder as he was hustled out of the elegant dining room. “I’m a Marlen citizen.”
“And I’m a Hooper. And you know what Marlens say about us Hooper girls.”
#lookinmybriefs #haroldhardpod

“We haven’t touched any life support systems,” Juzee retorted, her face flushing in anger, “even though you have triplicate backup systems. We’re taking non-essential items only.”
He snorted. “A likely story. I’m probably lucky you don’t consider me a non-essential item.”
#lookinmybriefs #shortstory

She did not allow her boarding party to appropriate anything belonging to the passengers.
“I hope you left us enough nitrooxy to reach Marl,” Harold said bitterly as they finished their task. “Or do you intend to leave no evidence of your piratical trepidations?”
#lookinmybriefs #mackenziesrock

For the next two hours, her boarding crew moved items from the tourist liner to her ship, while Harold complained. She was primarily interested in company owned luxury items that could be resold without significant depreciation. #lookinmybriefs #haroldhardpod #spaceopera

The unsightly dent in his chin and his firm thin slips only added to his air of pomposity. He was taller than her, and she had never liked tall men.
“I don’t care who you are,” she snapped. “Stand aside.”
#lookinmybriefs #haroldhardpod

“My father is Nurd Hardpod, the Chief Executive Officer and major stockholder of Hardpod Industries. I’m his son.”

Hah! An ugly old Hardpod, thought Juzee, ignoring the fact that he was not much older than her. His ear length hair was a dull brown, and his eyes matched. #lookinmybriefs #shortstory

“A forged court order, no doubt,” the tourist said with a disdainful sniff.
“A legal court order, and who in Saif are you?”
“I’m Harold Hardpod. I would know if my family’s business was in financial legal trouble.”
“Harold Hardpod? What are you? A cousin or something?”
#lookinmybriefs #haroldhardpod

Technically she was supposed to use the legal system to enforce that judgment. At the very least, she should have tried to seize assets that were on the planet Marl and not in the Hoop asteroid belt. But the people of Marl were notoriously prejudiced against Hoopers. #lookinmybriefs #haroldhardpod

“As I said, a pirate. Do you think you can just take anything you want?”
“Yes, I do, and I have a court order that says so.”
Captain Softcenter was fudging the truth a little. It’s true she had obtained a judgment against Hardpod Industries. #lookinmybriefs #haroldhardpod #spaceopera #shortstory

Queen Doyla showed up, bringing a tart,
this to appease their hunger.
Eyes wide, sadly Earl muttered,
“I really thought she’d be younger.”

#lookinmybriefs #humor

Sir Bill stopped and said through a groan,
“I’m not quite as young as I was.”
Lib Earl dropped his sword, panting aloud,
and he held his head, all abuzz.
#lookinmybriefs #poetry #humor

So, the battle began, and they fought through the day
and on and on to the next.
And the next, and the next, and the next and the next,
and the next, and the next, and the next.
#lookinmybriefs #poetry #humor

Sir Bill drew his sword and said to Earl,
“Be gone from the fair Queen’s land.”
Earl snorted, lifted his palm, and said,
“Ha! Talk to the hand.”
#lookinmybriefs #poetry #humor

But Earl heard Briss and followed Bill home
from the Land of fair California.
Asked how found the knight’s sweet land,
Earl laughed and boasted “Ah, trailed ya!”
#lookinmybriefs #poetry

Sir Bill and Queen Doyla

Author’s Note: With apologies to the people of Australia

Now brave Sir Bill was a valiant knight;
the protector of Queen Doyla.
The Queen was a very creative type
(as long as she had a Crayola.)
#lookinmybriefs #sirbillandqueendoyla #poetry #humor

“But won’t that reduce my value to your conglomerate?”
“Not for the job we have selected for you.”
“But I thought you don’t believe in punishment, just rehabilitation.” I was almost in tears.
“You misunderstood. We do believe in rehabilitation." #lookinmybriefs #talesoftheragoon #alieninvasion

“It does not matter what you do. The chip will alter its pattern to compensate. From now until the end of your life, you will have 20-100 vision, or worse. You will only hear sound in a narrow range, and roses will have a very faint smell.”
As it spoke, I became panicky.
#lookinmybriefs #shortstory