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"… Dream Team, Headphones. Run away from the big bad Canadian Goose like cowards. Honk, honk!"

Ryan balls a fist.

Paulie rolls his eyes. "Just ignore him. I want food; Jess is waiting."

Ryan: He softens at Jesse's name. "Fine."

[Later]
Ben: "So what's the real answer for…

(c)

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Adam: He laughs harder. "Ooh, I ruffled someone's feathers! Are you the goose? Hah!"

Paulie pulls Ryan away. "Ry, it's not worth it! It's only hype-hypo—it's not real. Right?"

Adam: "Sure, sure. Only hypothetical. No harm done here." He puts his hands up. "Go back to your…

#QueerCharChat
Adam: "A Canadian Goose, eh? The best way to deal with those little shits is to scare it with fire. Take something flammable and wave it in its face. It'll fly off." He chuckles.

Ryan, who overheard: "What is your problem, man? It's a bird, you don't have to traumatize it!"

(c)

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“There is absolutely no winning against a goose! The only plan is to grab that mf by the neck and YEET it as far away from yourself as possible while simultaneously fleeing on foot in the opposite direction.”

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“I’d cast some push spells through the air, firmly blowing them away without hurting them, coaxing them to leave me alone. Or I guess… Waiting until they tire themselves out.”

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Me: *shows Betti video of angry geese*
Betti: Oh, they're fiesty. The smart thing would be to catch it off guard before it gets pissed off but that's not going to happen with me.
Kalua: Clearly not.
B: I'll take some damage from it, but at some point I'll get a hit on it with my bag
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Kyoka: "That's the really mean duck-like thing, right? I have my ways!" *giggles* "Simplest would be a vertigo spell. Poor thing would get so dizzy just trying to walk it'd fall over. Otherwise a paralysis spell so I can just go about my business, and release it once I can leave."
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#QueerCharChat Sep 27

Micah: "I think I'd probably cheat and ask Terran for help, ha ha. He'd either be able to talk to the goose or scare it off. If I couldn't get him, I'd probably run. I don't think I would want to hurt it."

#QueerCharChat 27
Confusion flits over Tiferet's face briefly. "-oh! You mean a ring-necked cockatrice? That's easy: stay out of range of its venomous spit and summon my demons to tear it to pieces. Perhaps a fireball or three, depending on how that goes."

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Charlie:
Um.

*snort*😆

Um.

Well, I guess I'd fight it left-handed.

*snort*😆

Jack:
😡😒🤦‍♂️😆😂🤣

Charlie:
😁😅🤣🦾

--

Steady:
A goose!? A live goose?! You can't ask me to fight an extinct monster!😭😭😭

Willy: I hear they were good eatin!

Steady: Im going to run away!😥

🧵
1/2

Lu (25): I've fought Geese in battle. Can I pass?😅

Sol: Can I use a sword?

Lu: Holy-! Where did you come from?! And no I don't think you can use a sword on a normal goose, you *psycho*

Sol: Then grab it by the neck and throw it. What's the big deal?🤷‍♂️

Lu: Really?⬇️

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Wilken:
There is no contest, I have a sword.
They are far tastier than chicken, but there's so many feathers to pluck.

I would also only kill it if I knew it was wild. I would not like to explain to a farmer why I killed one of their animals.

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Lucy: Why on earth would you want to fight a Canadian goose?
Julie: Have you met them? They're vicious. They'll fight you without remorse
Izzy: [nods]
Lucy: How ridiculous. They're sweet
Liv: I do not understand the problem. They are just a little, tasty bird [leaves to find a goose]⬇️

#QueerCharChat Day 27 - Rowan

Fight a Canadian goose? Nope. They're cute. I like watching them, and the babies are adorable. They're mean to each other though. I'm just going to hope I have suitable snacks and back away slowly, or duck and cover until it feels like it's won.

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I’d wack it with my pitchfork, lengthwise so it flies away,
Rinse and repeat as much times as needed until it gives up.
If I need to escape I bet I could outfly a goose.

#QueerCharChat | September 27, 2026

The question is a humorous icebreaker. It is an absurd scenario meant to test a characters imagination and tactical thinking against an opponent that is small in size but seemingly packed with pure rage.

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Virgil:

I walked into Hell itself and realized I was the worst person there.

Lucifer is kind and sweet and wonderful. An angel. He did nothing wrong.

He's not The Devil. He's not unforgivable. I am.

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Tack:

I'm just an idiot that survived by sheer dumb luck, but I'm afraid of how soon it may run out.

I'm not a hero. I'm a man on borrowed time, waiting for the sand in the hourglass to run out.

I guess victim? Of fate or duty, maybe.

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"I have lived too long to...ah, to know any one person to be either villain or hero entire. I, like all, have done good and ill by others. Perhaps...not as much good as I could have done of late, but one can only do better. One can only hope to do better..."
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